Professor ALLEN KOENIGSBERG: When Bell invented the phone, Alexander Graham Bell, he didn't use `hello' at all. He used `ahoy.' He used it twice, `Ahoy. Ahoy.' And apparently he was the only one that used it, because I've never heard anybody to this day say, `Ahoy.' And Bell was not even in the Navy, so I don't know why he insisted on using a call that way.
all things considered via grow a brain
I'm quite tempted to switch from hello to Ahoy! and maybe even to Ahoy. Ahoy. *
I had a friend years ago who persisted in answering his telephone by saying "telephone," a daring innovation which made perfect sense to me but which I, sadly, lacked the courage to help popularize... word detective
* Update: I do not watch the Simpsons, apparently...
boynton
Comments: ahoy
So what should be said for goodbye. I hate ciao. Over?
Posted by Flute at February 22, 2005 01:53 PM
Gosh. Charlie. "Over" sounds rather abrupt. Roger. Over and Out.
Is there something nautical that would be appropriate? Or is this correct?
"I think John Smith in Marketing is the right person to help you with this. Let me speak to him, and either he or I will call you back on Thursday"
http://www.mhwcom.com/pages/endconversation.html
Posted by boynton at February 22, 2005 02:28 PM
"I've never heard anybody to this day say, `Ahoy.'"
Someone's never seen Mr Burns answer the telephone in The Simpsons...
Posted by James Russell at February 22, 2005 03:50 PM
I've never seen a single episode of the Simpsons.
I saw them on the Tracy Ullman show.
Am I the only person on the planet with this fault?
However, so pervasive is the simpsons that I do know that Mr Burns is not a good character to emulate.
I still like Ahoy! though in a pre-Simpsons, nineteenth century way. Unfortunately, most of my callers would be Simpsons savvy - some even fans - so maybe I'll have to re-think this whole diversion.
Posted by boynton at February 22, 2005 04:10 PM
I often say "aloha!" myself.
I find it adds to the cheerfulness of most conversation.
Posted by Zoe at February 22, 2005 04:51 PM
Professor Allen Koeningsberg? Isn't that the given name of Woody Allen?
Roger over and out.
Posted by Brownie at February 22, 2005 07:04 PM
"Ahoy polloi" in Caddyshack, too.
I used to like ringing people up and then when they answered I'd ask "What do you want?"
Ahhh, good times.
Posted by Tony.T at February 22, 2005 07:27 PM
Aloha is very good Zoe, it has that ciao versatility, with the added zest of a Ha! (I've just been reading old cookbooks)
You can do a lot with 3 syllables and a little imagination.
Brownie - I'm beginning to think this post was a elaborate joke to catch me out, even down to its `gotcha' title. It was riddled with formatting errors - I rebuilt it 10 times to get it right. I was all set to cringe again, however (it seems) a couple of letters separate the two. Woody is Konigsberg.
I could be wrong.
Over. Aloha!
Posted by boynton at February 22, 2005 07:31 PM
Is Caddyshack the sequel to Caddy?
Ah - here I was thinking Ahoy was quaint.
Posted by boynton at February 22, 2005 07:39 PM
Arrrrrrrrr. That'd be Caddie.
Ahoy, Boynton! Where are your buccaneers?
Posted by Black Jack Thompson at February 22, 2005 08:38 PM
... - - - ...
Was Jack's co-star
.... . .-.. . -. ?
Posted by boynton at February 22, 2005 09:04 PM
Avast there! Quit that damned cringing!
It's yer pride that's on it. You write fine.
Fine say I.
I do the same thing though.
-
My heart belonged to the girl who demanded I not answer the phone one afternoon, when we were just talking about this and that. It was the first time it had ever been suggested in my presence that it was possible to ignore the summoning bell.
The beginning of much deeper heresies, a renounced faith, and a life of schism.
Posted by Ajax Bucky at February 22, 2005 10:08 PM
Yes and then answering machines took even the guilt from the receiver. Funny how we became so beholden to the bell.
Does anyone not answering the telephone in "the Simpsons" or "Desperate Houswives" say "Avast"?
Posted by boynton at February 22, 2005 10:19 PM
What's this "over and out" crap!
It's EITHER "over" OR "out".
i.e. "roger, out." or "roger, over".
"out" means "I'm not expecting/requiring a reply" and "over" means "I'm standing by for a reply". Ergo, "over and out" is an oxymoron! Morons!
Get it right ya civvie bastards!
Posted by Gerry at February 23, 2005 12:57 AM
Dear Squadron Leader Gerry, I got it from the movies. I am now properly chastised and informed. Chocks away!
Posted by Brownie at February 23, 2005 08:43 AM
No worries Brownie. Had to set the record straight. Dunno what came over me. I think it was the Cab Sav. :-)
Posted by Gerry at February 23, 2005 09:23 AM
Ditto, Brownie. Roger, Gerry. I'm an out and out fool. Over.
Posted by boynton at February 23, 2005 09:23 AM
Er, snap.
Glad to have had the record set straight actually.
Think I must have had a bad Skippy memory happening.
Cheers.
Posted by boynton at February 23, 2005 09:31 AM
"I find it adds to the cheerfulness of most conversation."
Do you know just how pollyannerish that reads Zoe?
The best phone message I've heard is:
Ahuh?
Posted by cs at February 25, 2005 01:10 AM
Ahuh - sounds like a laid-back ahoy. I like it.
May try it, pending cultural-reference clearance.
Posted by boynton at February 25, 2005 12:28 PM
In Japan they say "moshi moshi".
Posted by millipede at February 26, 2005 12:21 PM
And Korea "yobosayo"?
More to choose from here...
http://www.netjeff.com/humor/item.cgi?file=HelloOnTelephoneWorldwide
Posted by boynton at February 27, 2005 08:23 PM
C for Charlie -.-. DASH DOT DASH DOT in morse code. or RN Revellie on bugle call first notes sounding like
CHAR-li CHAR-li
GERRY: I hope this is helpful. possibly someone may think it's a load of ... .... .. - , I remember it well, Aged Matelot.
Posted by john leonard spencer at February 28, 2005 02:19 PM
"Ahoy you Landlubbers" The Brit Royal Navy Still uses antique phrases like Ahoy Avast and a stack of ancient verbal crap, The list is endless. For example "BOAT AHOY" is called out in a loud voice to a boat aproaching ones own ship usually at night or poor visibility, the coxswain (driver) of the boat yells in a clear voice his identity in return. Although I have stirred the bucket with some of my writing about the R N, a book I recommend called JACKSPEAK By RICK JOLLY,ISBN 0-9514305-2-1. 4000 terms & Illustrations could be described as the Royal Navy Dictionary.The copy I have was a present from my U/K Bro in Law.I do not have any connections with the author.J L S.
Posted by John Leonard Spencer at February 28, 2005 03:17 PM
Jackspeak looks good.
an excerpt:
http://home.tiac.net/~cri/1998/british.html
It's the antique I seek.
"BOYNTON AHOY" may work as a way to answer the telephone at night in poor visibility.
Or I could dot and dash "Ahoy".
Posted by boynton at February 28, 2005 04:25 PM
And if you wanna sow dissension, tension and confusion through electro-magentical communication devices, answering the phone with:
"Yes, can I speak to Bob or Ethel please, It's an emergency."
is always good for a cheap laff.
Posted by Nabakov at February 28, 2005 11:20 PM
Nabakov: We are not here to create dissension, tension or confusion, also you should learn to spell correctly. Such coarseness of thought and sillyness is not wanted here. Your delusions of adequacy are unfounded. Elle.x
Posted by Elle Bee at March 1, 2005 12:56 PM
Spelling is nothing, sillyness is rampant.
But any serious Dssnsn will be disemvowelled.
On the contrary, your coarsness is always wanted here, Nabakov. Your delusions are profound.
Posted by boynton at March 1, 2005 01:27 PM
Prvious comments a little irritating. suggest nab and Bee tie the knot and fight it out for ever.I have just pressed the button waved goodbye and closed the lid. Alec
Posted by Alec Smart at March 1, 2005 02:41 PM
whateffer.
I just re-read my previous, Nabakov.
Reads bad, re delusions. I've never spotted any.
Only allusions, appreciated by many.
Posted by boynton at March 1, 2005 02:55 PM
Alec, never heard of Elle Bee before. Never seen her comment here before. Never exchanged comments with her before. Not aware she's been appointed comments moderator. And have no idea what her problem is.
Posted by Nabakov at March 1, 2005 03:32 PM
Zounds!! Ye Varlets. Doth the madness of march be apon us?
Posted by John Leonard Spencer at March 1, 2005 08:33 PM
I cdnuolt blveiee that cluod aulacity uesdnatnrd
waht I was rdgnieg.The phaonnmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aocdcrnig to recheeacrh at cmarbgide uinretvsy,it deons't mttear in waht oerdr the lttrees in a wrod are.The olny iprmoatnt tihng is the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rgiht pclae.The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the hmuan mnid deos not raed erevy lteter by ilstef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh ? Yaeh, and Elelebe awlyas tghouht slpielng was ipmorantt. Please do not ignore this, it may look weird, but believe me it's readable.
Posted by John Leonard Spencer at March 3, 2005 09:09 PM
Yes, I read that research a few months ago.
I misspelt "forgotten" today and realised as soon as I hit post, with an O. Oh well, rhymed with cotton. As for typos, they seem to proliferate in comment boxes, usually belonging to other people.
Posted by boynton at March 3, 2005 10:15 PM
However yer grammer and syntax needs work, Ojn Spenthard Lencer.
Posted by Nabakov at March 3, 2005 10:56 PM
Nabakov: My grammar does need improvement, if only to accommodate the Philistinic 1% of the population, who bore people with perfection.
There are many styles of the written or spoken word, some which defy editing. Some editing removes the essential punchline and the writers true meaning.
However,my Soul Is doing fine , "Thank you".
I must confess, although I admire your comments, even I of less learning than your majestic self, have noticed that, occasionally you have a leaky plug.
Mere elegance of language, can produce at best but an empty statement.
Fortunately I have other Qualifications that do not necessarily require the use of grammar.
Avagudweekendmate.J L S.
Posted by John Leonard Spencer at March 4, 2005 04:00 PM
Nabakov: My grammar does need improvement, if only to accommodate the Philistinic 1% of the population, who bore people with perfection.
There are many styles of the written or spoken word, some which defy editing. Some editing removes the essential punchline and the writers true meaning.
However,my Soul Is doing fine , "Thank you".
I must confess, although I admire your comments, even I of less learning than your majestic self, have noticed that, occasionally you have a leaky plug.
Mere elegance of language, can produce at best but an empty statement.
Fortunately I have other Qualifications that do not necessarily require the use of grammar.
Avagudweekendmate.J L S.
Posted by John Leonard Spencer at March 4, 2005 04:09 PM
I have no idea who nabakov is or you for that matter. from what I can deduce nab is a person of letters, who likes to travel rough occasionally with his own brand of barrack room chatter. He may even be a simpleton; I largely suspect this is the case, he is using borrowed words or hiring a speech writer for his barmy comments. I liked your bit about your Soul(syntax). why does he not reply?
Posted by Georgia at March 20, 2005 09:12 PM
I have no idea who nabakov is or you for that matter. from what I can deduce nab is a person of letters, who likes to travel rough occasionally with his own brand of barrack room chatter. He may even be a simpleton; I largely suspect this is the case, he is using borrowed words or hiring a speech writer for his barmy comments. I liked your bit about your Soul(syntax). why does he not reply?
Posted by Georgia at March 20, 2005 11:47 PM
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