Saturday, December 31, 2005

100 more things

49. Tim Henman has a tennis court at his new home in Oxfordshire which he has never used.

80. Fifty-seven Bic Biros are sold every second - amounting to 100bn since 1950.

81. George Bernard Shaw named his shed after the UK capital so that when visitors called they could be told he was away in London.

94. Bill Gates does not have an iPod.

BBC 100 things An almanac of quirky snippets that we didn't know this time last year (via J walk)

Comments: 100 more things

Tim is my favorite sportsperson, having comprehensively supplanted the previous incumbent, Eddie the Eagle who I think was either a one-legged lumberjacking Moomba Masters skier or an expatriate visually impaired Jamaican bobsledder. Anyhow, Tim's other claim to fame is that he also has a winning killer instinct that he hasn't yet taken out of its gift wrapping.

We wish him all the best at the traditional and time-honoured Qatar ExxonMobil Open on January 2.
Posted by Sedgwick at December 31, 2005 05:29 PM

"The power of the mind is very underestimated" TH

Wonder if Henman has played the Hopman?
Posted by boynton at January 2, 2006 08:57 PM

I bought most of those Bics since about 1970. In a list of all-time essential pieces of kit, the Bic's near the top.

(I think I feel a meme coming on...)

All the best for an entirely wonderful 2006, B.
Posted by Dick at January 3, 2006 11:01 AM

I don't know if the Henman stat illustrates the reason he hasn't yet won a grand slam or if he simply has no friends.
Posted by Russell Allen at January 3, 2006 01:54 PM

or does he just have one unused court (still gift-wrapped) along with several others, frequently used?

Happy New Year, Miss B.
Posted by wen at January 3, 2006 05:18 PM

÷ of the 57 per second won't write for longer than 57 seconds?
Thanks, Dick, and happy 06 to you and yours.

Russell, I wonder if he'll gain a wild card entry at his place?

Most likely, wen, a gift for when he's not present?
Happy New Year
Posted by boynton at January 3, 2006 07:22 PM

I yam also brilliant, and do not have an I-POD.

I DO have a toy with a mouse that goes rounds and rounds. It is grouse!
Posted by Chairman Mao the Burmese Cat at January 3, 2006 10:18 PM

Hmm... wonder if Tim H has any of your rellies in his rackets? ;)
Posted by boynton at January 4, 2006 04:45 PM

I wish I could say, who is Tim Henman ?
Posted by andy Farnsworth at January 7, 2006 08:25 PM

I'd rather be able to say: who is hewitt, ll?
Posted by boynton at January 10, 2006 05:45 PM

Friday, December 30, 2005

trog blog

Man drinking coffee in cave

(one of many wonderful images on show at dirty beloved)

Ok - so the forecast for New Year's eve turns out to be ridiculous:

Fine, although cloud increasing. Fresh, gusty northwest wind shifting milder
southerly late afternoon. Min 19 Max 42

37 and rising today. In lieu of swimming pool or air conditioner, it's time to head down to the cellar here and turn troglodyte until the weather behaves. Who knows I may see in the new year staring at a string of onions hanging from a six foot ceiling drinking commemorative bottles of trivia red or whatever's over in the wine rack.

Comments: trog blog

Lacking a cellar, I'd have to resort to hiding under the house. Trouble is there's something living down there already; it's either a gutter possum, a wombat or a street person and I'm not too keen to find out which.
Posted by Gummo Trotsky at December 30, 2005 03:12 PM

You need a Simpson and Day for the Cella-fauna as I imagine these creatures can be distinguished by their cries?
(Think we have all that and the odd rat who runs with the possums...)
Posted by boynton at December 30, 2005 03:26 PM

Posted by Tony.T at December 30, 2005 03:36 PM

That sounds like the alarm cry of a flocking street person to me. Now they'll all scurry away like meerkats or praire dogs and it'll be impossible to winkle them out.
Posted by Gummo Trotsky at December 30, 2005 05:39 PM

In North America the cries of the homeless are easily distinguished from the defensive hissing of native oppossums. Sadly lacking in wombats we must make do for sub-floor pests with raccoons and a few other nocturnal mammalian generalists.
When the cowboys in the old cowboy movies call one another a "polecat" they mean not the civet, but that black-and-white catlike creature with the long bushy tail and the mincing walk.
Skunks - they get under houses too.
One time I had a little sort of studio space away from the main house and would spend too many hours at what it was I was doing then and retire suddenly and gratefully to a small couch that rested against a wall that was built against the hill the studio was on. So that actual ground level on the upper half-floor was right about where I was laying, just the other side of the uninsulated wood paneling.
I awoke there one night to an unmistakable and powerful musk, and heard the scrape and scratch of a small animal foraging close at hand. Thinking I should only be still and try not to alarm it I did just that and lay for a while sending urgent mental commands through the wall as best I could to please go, there were many wonderful things to find and eat all about the compound elsewhere, especially at the compost pile some hundred and two yards to the northwest; suddenly a visitor's small undisciplined ill-mannered high-strung city-bred terrier began yapping hysterically and frantically circling the side-yard edge of the studio, and then it dashed straight under a gap in the upper floor. With predictable but nonetheless exciting consequences for all three of us.
Posted by Juke Moran at December 30, 2005 07:24 PM

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

new flu 2005 a new type of flu came to the world's attention: avian flu. See the effect it had on overall “flu” searches as news and information about this new strain proliferated.

Google Zeitgeist Nature via things

Comments: new flu

all that glitters is not Gould.
Posted by Francis Xavier Holden at December 28, 2005 01:05 AM

or just a could.
Posted by boynton at December 28, 2005 10:16 AM

Why would I care? This is only a simian flu.

What have you to say about cat flu? Cats are important. We do not likest to cough and be imperfect.

Of course I am still impossibly handsome when I coughs.
Posted by Mao the Burmese Cat at December 29, 2005 01:45 PM

sounds reminscent of Peter and the Wolf...
What kind of Flu are you if you can't Fly?
Posted by boynton at December 30, 2005 02:50 PM

It's ok if you can't as long as you flew...
Posted by Mao the Burmese Cat at December 31, 2005 01:41 AM

a lot of my snacks just flew into my claws.
I wait by the water.

and look forward to duckshooters getting sick from handling their kill when the season opens in february, oh yes I do.
Posted by Kitty Brown at December 31, 2005 03:42 PM


...and speaking of overall flu searches, overalls have been good to boynton overall with a tidy dividend of google searchers landing here. This post can only help with the figures in the new year.

Thursday, December 22, 2005


Merry Christmas sanity can you hold the line please

Comments: qotd

no doubt...
December is mixed up sometimes...
Posted by michelle at December 23, 2005 06:21 PM

It's a fun sentence in which to play swapsy with a comma, a question mark and a couple of !!
Posted by peacay at December 23, 2005 09:03 PM

A few lines to hold on to during the time when conspiracy of love invades too many hearts ...

Someone to hold you too close,
Someone to hurt you too deep,
Someone to sit in your chair,
To ruin your sleep.
Someone to need you too much,
Someone to know you too well,
Someone to pull you up short,
To put you through hell.
Someone you have to let in,
Someone whose feelings you spare,
Someone who, like it or not,
Will want you to share
A little, a lot.
Someone to crowd you with love,
Someone to force you to care,
Someone to make you come through,
Who’ll always be there,
As frightened as you
Of being alive.
Stephen Sondheim, “Being Alive” (music by Sondheim)
Posted by jozef Imrich at December 23, 2005 11:30 PM

A few lines to hold on to during the time when conspiracy of love invades too many hearts ...

Someone to hold you too close,
Someone to hurt you too deep,
Someone to sit in your chair,
To ruin your sleep.
Someone to need you too much,
Someone to know you too well,
Someone to pull you up short,
To put you through hell.
Someone you have to let in,
Someone whose feelings you spare,
Someone who, like it or not,
Will want you to share
A little, a lot.
Someone to crowd you with love,
Someone to force you to care,
Someone to make you come through,
Who’ll always be there,
As frightened as you
Of being alive.
Stephen Sondheim, “Being Alive” (music by Sondheim)
Posted by jozef Imrich at December 23, 2005 11:30 PM

Lovely Jozef, tres poignant. Hi boyn. Try as I might I think I'd have to live under a log (no internet under logs) to succesfully and blithely ignore this Christmas thang.

However, I saw things that made me smile at the beach today. An Indian family swimming fully clothed - for hours and a Jack Russell Terrier x who chased a ball with such enthusiasm that I wish I were he. After several runs he was looking a bit limpy and arthritic on one back leg, but still smiling his little head off and still keen for more. Pain? What pain? What is pain?

Posted by Link at December 24, 2005 12:18 AM

It was just one of those rhetorical questions ;)

People were losing it on Thursday but were courteous around car-parks on Friday.

Thanks Jozef - :)

Great obs again, Link.
My Lab used to do that, the jack is never that keen.
But the two used to dig in the sand for hours.
Why Doug dug, only he knew. But it was good enough for her, and she assisted him in this industrious enterprise until his legs ran out.
Posted by boynton at December 24, 2005 11:45 AM

Merry Thingo - No need for directions here:

Posted by Francis Xavier Holden at December 24, 2005 10:39 PM

Best to you and yours Miss B.
Posted by cs at December 25, 2005 08:11 AM

Ah, sanity, so hard to find so easy to lose.

Happy holidays!
Posted by npiombino at December 26, 2005 01:45 PM

Merci fx. shall watch anon avec broadband in...some suburb...
will keep me from wandering up the ... road.

Thanks, cs. et vous.

Thanks Nick.
I managed to avoid Sanity, shopping in Sanity, in the mad rush, thankfully.
Posted by boynton at December 27, 2005 09:59 PM

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

parties past

Swapatorium: Office Christmas party 1973

Office Christmas party from Kigu of London photo archive

Christmas Party Dance 1955

Comments: parties past

the 1973 office party looks even more dull and boring than the one I will be attending in a few in a few days time.
Posted by andy Farnsworth at December 20, 2005 11:15 PM

the 1973 office party looks even more dull and boring than the one I will be attending in a few in a few days time.
Posted by andy Farnsworth at December 20, 2005 11:15 PM

The 1973 party loks even more dull and boring than the one that I will attend in a few days time.
Posted by andy Farnsworth at December 20, 2005 11:16 PM

sorry about the multiple comments
Posted by andy Farnsworth at December 20, 2005 11:17 PM

I like multiple comments, Andy.

Yes the Kigu party rocks in comparison, despite
"champagne and all."
Posted by boynton at December 21, 2005 11:41 AM

Beat ya home. My serve.
Posted by Nabakov at December 22, 2005 01:05 AM
Posted by boynton at December 22, 2005 11:21 AM

Oh. My.

Just heading off to get tanked at mine! 300 public servants, woo hoo...
Posted by armaniac at December 22, 2005 01:20 PM

Can you submit the report ASAP?
Posted by boynton at December 22, 2005 08:05 PM

retro caravans

Vintage Caravans - Australian Touring Heritage

(with many pics to induce teardrops of nostalgia or solastalgia)

Comments: retro caravans

Scroll down a little bt for a funky old caravan of your very own that you can receive in the post.

Damn shame though that they don't stock the Alfa Romeo from "The Calculas Affair" or the big old Buick from "Land Of Black Gold".
Posted by Nabakov at December 19, 2005 09:05 PM

very nice...
and wen might be happy to see: "Tintin and Snowy passengers in the caravan"

and this is an old link that I often return to:
Posted by boynton at December 20, 2005 12:15 PM

Saturday, December 17, 2005

cross words

Sixteen Across Forty-one short stories by Holly Gramazio
All of the stories are set in Adelaide, and they're appearing twice a week, one every Monday and Thursday, with each story acting as a crossword clue.

via kevan, as above

Comments: cross words

I didn't know Adelaide was so rich in experiences that 2 whole stories a week could come from there. A fella once said to me 'the best thing you can do in Adelaide is go to the airport and go anywhere else'
Posted by Russell Allen at December 18, 2005 11:27 AM

The best thing you can do in any other Australian town is to leave it and come here.
Posted by Kent at December 18, 2005 04:38 PM

Across in the city of churches sounds pleasantly cryptic.

Posted by boynton at December 19, 2005 12:15 PM

Nah, just appropriately parochial and defensive, full of false self-importance and suffering a mild inferiority complex. This place may be a shithole, but it's a quiet and comfy one.
Posted by Kent at December 21, 2005 05:08 AM

Nothing beats a glide along the Torrens in Popeye
Posted by boynton at December 21, 2005 11:37 AM

well said Kent.
Posted by andy Farnsworth at December 21, 2005 08:50 PM

I'm here at the moment, it's good. Apart from the full extent of this ridiculous Australian "summer in December" thing.
Posted by Kevan at December 23, 2005 02:02 AM

Yes yesterday was very ridiculous in Melbourne.

Welcome to Aus, Kevan.
Posted by boynton at December 24, 2005 11:29 AM

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

golden era

Pencil, Miss?

From So, Unafraid, He Faced The Setting Sun: Newspaper Ads From The Golden Era of Advertising

Summer days leave you with frayed nerves and exhausted energy...

via the ultimate insult

Comments: golden era

Once young of course, and thoughtless,
Posted by rollo at December 15, 2005 12:48 PM

the husband died

at the wrong time
Posted by boynton at December 15, 2005 01:49 PM

Maybe the old lady preferred selling pencils to falling into the clutches of these guys:
Posted by Gummo Trotsky at December 17, 2005 01:37 AM

I wonder whether the girl bought a pencil as well as life insurance. Wish they'd finish these stories.
Posted by wen at December 17, 2005 06:50 AM

And in the "there is nothing new under the sun" department, who else has spotted those TV ads for superannuation - like the one where a rich git asks his valet for the morning paper and coffee, then the same scene is played with the roles reversed?

How much money did they spend in the focus groups, I wonder, to come up with an ad campaign based on an idea as old as the 1920s/30s.
Posted by Gummo Trotsky at December 17, 2005 11:34 AM

2B or not 2B?

Intriguing wen. Mayeb it's been waiting for someone to take up the thread? ;)

Have not seen that ad, Gummo. Will have to pencil in commercial TV viewing time this week.
Posted by boynton at December 17, 2005 02:25 PM

Please buy some cleaning products miss. Just a pack or two of laundry detergent maybe.

"Oh shit, here's that pesky old bat again. Just because I let her talk me into buying the shit once -"

Then like an arrow came a strange thought.

The young woman's gaze went past the K-Mart dress, the op-shop coat and rested on the face with the wistful eyes from which fear looked out - the fear that dwells with the aged poor.

The girl knew her story. Once young of course, careful with money, happy with a husband and home. They had good times. They saved for their retirement, he had company superannuation, he paid his life insurance premiums punctually.

Before he retired, they bought the campervan they were going to tour the country but witihn a week after collecting his gold watch, he died. There was no company superannuation - all the funds had disappeared into a bank account in the Caymans. The life insurance company had been declared bankrupt -she would be lucky to get five cents in the dollar on the policy. The widow clung onto her home, and joined a party-plan sales organisation to supplement her income.

So to the young woman came these drumming questions that would not down - "Could this happen to me? Could it? Old, helpless, forlorn ... no money ... unwanted? What can I do to make sure that I will never come to this?"

There you go - let's see somebody top that then.
Posted by Gummo Trotsky at December 17, 2005 05:03 PM

"0h brother, there’s that patronizing young airhead again. Just because I sympathized with her once-“

Then like an arrow came a strange thought.

The widow's gaze went past the drab uniform of corporate servitude, the hopeless stab of personality, the unremarkable bob and rested on the bland face with the cold eyes from which fear looked out – the fear that dwells with young urban mice, prematurely prudent.

The widow knew her story. Young of course, and thoughtless, so many daily units of calories, alcohol and magazines, unable to even consider a campervan, drifting into this... typing reports to people who didn’t want them..."

- actually I'm off to St Vinnies later to search for a Hopeless Coat. Sounds rather cool.

Posted by boynton at December 19, 2005 11:58 AM

Touche, Ms B.
Posted by Gummo Trotsky at December 19, 2005 03:14 PM

They Laughed When I Sat Down At the Keyboard But When I Started to Blog! --

"Can he really blog?" a girl whispered. "Heavens no!" Arthur exclaimed. "He never wrote an original thought in his life."

Arthur had just blogged "Cronulla." The room rang with applause. I decided that this would be a dramatic moment for me to make my debut. To the amazement of all my friends, I strode confidently over to the keyboard and sat down.

"Jack is up to his old tricks," somebody chuckled. The crowd laughed. They were all certain that I couldn't write a single sentence.

"Can he really blog?" I heard a girl whisper to Arthur.

"Heavens, no!" Arthur exclaimed "He never wrote an original phrase in all his life... But just you watch him. This is going to be good."

I decided to make the most of the situation. With mock dignity I drew out a silk handkerchief and lightly dusted off the keys. Then I rose and gave the swivel chair a quarter of a turn, just as I had seen an imitator of TBogg do in a vaudeville sketch.

"What do you think of his execution?" called a voice from the rear.

"We're in favor of it!" came back the answer, and the crowd rocked with laughter.

Then I Started to Blog

Instantly a tense silence fell on the guests. The laughter died on their lips as if by magic. I typed through the first few paras of Swift's "A Modest Proposal. I heard gasps of amazement. My friends sat breathless -- spellbound!

I blogged on and as I blogged I forgot the people around me. I forgot the hour, the place, the breathless readers. The little world I lived in seemed to fade -- seemed to grow dim -- unreal. Only the words were real. Only the ideas and visions it brought me. Visions as beautiful and as changing as the wind blown clouds and drifting moonlight that long ago inspired the master essayist.

It seemed as if the master essayist himself were speaking to me -- speaking through the medium of blogs-- not in words but in polemics. Not in sentences but in exquisite posts!
Posted by Nabakov at December 19, 2005 08:55 PM


It's Mitsubishi's End of Wage Agreement Run-Out!

Don't miss out! These prices can't last!

Order your new Mitsubishi before the Enterprise agreement runs out on August 30 2006!
Posted by Gummo Trotsky at December 20, 2005 06:39 AM

"It sounded so convincing that I filled out the coupon requesting the Free Demonstration Lesson"

(Arthur is a fascinating character and deserves his own blog/post.)

Read blogs regularly and surprise yourself with your keen knowledge of values – to say nothing of your increased knowledge of every day affairs

And indeed Sir- there is surely nothing new in the Sun.

Posted by boynton at December 20, 2005 12:23 PM

close local lights

Last night to my suprise I discovered a small pocket of illuminated houses a few streets away. Although now I think about it, I had noticed the outline of an unwired Santa in the second storey of a house on the corner earlier in the year. I thought it was some quirk. But no - it's a whole colony of santas down there- on skis, in chimneys, shooting the breeze in pairs on the porch. Unlike Ivanhoe, happily there was no crowd, a few kids on scooters among the low audience figures chatting casually with the owner-operators of the show, in the spotlight of a well known front lawn.

Comments: close local lights

I would love to see the illuminated houses without the crowd, Boynton.
Could you tell me where they are?
Posted by Getting in the Christmas spirit at December 14, 2005 06:38 PM

Somewhere in Melbourne...
Posted by boynton at December 14, 2005 07:08 PM

You obviously haven't got the xmas spirit
So evasive........THANKS FOR NOTHIN!!!!!!!
Posted by at December 14, 2005 08:12 PM

Gee! Ingratiate!

I saw a blow up Santa the other day on a roof top it looked like he'd been impaled on a pole. Ha I smiled - I love a sense of humour and then I realised he was probably supposed to have been supported by the pole and that he had possibly been pierced by a well aimed dart. Ha I smiled a bit tragic but I love a sense of humour.

Christmas schmissmass! I want no part of it. I had Silent F@#$!#@$% Night running through my head today. I also got my Christmas card and this time the faithful sender of said Christmas card didn't bother with the Dear blah de blah bit, just signed off seasons greetings from etc. So, I addressed it to the house hold, very easily done just fill in the blank spot at the top of the card where the persons name USUALLY GOES. And voila now we all have a card.
Posted by Link at December 14, 2005 09:28 PM

I see Christmas stress seems to be affecting people allready. Some of my neighbours have got Santas which are similar to garden gnomes.
Posted by andy Farnsworth at December 15, 2005 12:38 AM

Link - some of the local Santas had a definite lean - maybe prevaling winds or something in the soil.
A great card story...Dear oh Dear oh Dear...

I noticed that some of those Santas might indeed be perennials, Andy. As it is that outline of the Santa graces the upstairs window all year - we're talking serious advent there.
btw - welcome back!
Posted by boynton at December 15, 2005 01:44 PM

Behave yourself, Anonymous!
Posted by Tony.T at December 15, 2005 03:17 PM

Behave myself.....Get over yourself Tony.T
You should be telling Boynton to relax.
I dont want to know her whereabouts I just wanted to know where the xmas lights were ..thats all.
People get sooooooooooooo paranoid.
Merry xmas to all .
Posted by at December 15, 2005 07:03 PM

The info is out there, anon.
Posted by boynton at December 15, 2005 07:10 PM

Relax? People tend not to relax around schizo stalkers.
Posted by Tony.T at December 15, 2005 07:10 PM

Geeeeee....assumptions.........I'm no stalker,
just someone reading a blog and getting peeved about comments made..........Maybe T.T. you need to see christmas lights,it may calm you down.
Posted by at December 15, 2005 08:21 PM

Hey Anon, I saw some great Christmas light in the store at Glenreagh.
Posted by Link at December 16, 2005 11:11 AM

Well Miss B, if you're not going to publish your address, could you at least post your bank a/c details, PIN and a specimen sig. just know, we can establish your bona fides?

Looking for xmas lights in all the wrong places doooo dooooooh.
Posted by peacay at December 17, 2005 08:33 PM

You guys have got it all wrong.
I didn't want Boynton Address...........who gives a shit.
I just wanted to know what suburb the lights were
in that Boynton saw.
All the drama.........get a life.
Posted by at December 18, 2005 06:31 PM

When I go to my brother's place next week and I lazily sit around and sup his fine fare and hog his zippy computer and watch dvds on his wonderful setup and he doesn't tell me the secret ingredient in his pistachio pesto when I ask, I think I'll remember to thank him anyway for providing my sustenance and entertainment and try not to get irate about inconsequential minutiae.
Posted by peacay at December 18, 2005 07:54 PM

I can tell you the address. Mr/Dr/Prof/Miss/Ms boynton lives at ..ahh ooooh .. ugh mmmmmffffh..................................
Posted by Francis Xavier Holden at December 21, 2005 11:05 AM

Oi - enough of the ugh...
Posted by boynton at December 21, 2005 11:43 A

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I campervan

The GMC 26-foot Motorhome is just what a custom-built home should be...
A reflection of YOU

If you so specify, you can have an auxiliary dinette that converts to a single bed; or a pair of swivel chairs, matching the cockpit, with fold-up coffee table.
In the rear living area is a double bed. In its place, you can order a gaucho couch/double bed; or a table and side-facing settee/double bed.
But whichever combination you select, underneath is one of the Motorhomes most welcome features: Insulation.

1973 GMC Motorhome Sales Brochure via things

Comments: I campervan

the foam does a very good job of helping seal out road noise, too...

Umm, people! you are not supposed to be IN THE BACK of the motorhome when it's moving!

I always yearned for a campervan (perhaps a small motorhome) to live in for a year or three, but now it's become a mass market phenomenon ("grey nomads") it doesn't seem so appealing.
Posted by at December 14, 2005 10:57 AM

Sorry, forgot to enter name...
Posted by Helen at December 14, 2005 10:58 AM

I still like the idea of a campervan, Helen.
I'd restrict my wandering to the Victorian coastline (maybe just a backwater in Gippsland) to differentiate myself from the serious map-setters ;)

Actually - "things" has a few links to mobile lifestyle models. Futuristic rather than retro, but it was the latter that naturally appealed to me.
Posted by boynton at December 14, 2005 12:37 PM

Dangnabit. There was a custom motorhome for sale many months back - a guy in Canberra had spent 2 years converting a fire-engine and it was LUSH. Even carried 2 motorbikes undercover and had a back verandah.

Can't find the link. It was on Metafilter but my searching prowess is not so hot today - there were heaps of pictures from the time it was just a shell, all the way through their trip.

He was selling it so they could go to UK as his partner's mother wasn't well. He had the intention of building a new motorhome when he got there for Europe.

Not sure I'd want to be careering around the countryside tooooo much in it. The guy and his partner spent 3 years I think, travelling around Oz but they would spend weeks/months at a time in the one spot. I could handle that pretty easily.

Damn money .. A N D .. the horse she rode in on!
Posted by peacay at December 15, 2005 02:49 PM

Sounds great. And takes the idea of mobile lifestyle a tad further? eg mobile- motor-home conversion-lifestyle?

Think I could handle that sort of idle ambling too.

My own searching wasn't so hot the other day. I had wanted to find pics of *Aust.* vintage campervans but only found this retro/conversion via G Images.

Posted by boynton at December 15, 2005 07:26 PM

I can remember being sooo disappointed when I discovered that you couldn't actually travel IN the caravan. I'd had visions of - actually I'm not quite sure what I imagined... Anyway, the idea of caravan holidays subsequently lost all their appeal.
Posted by wen at December 16, 2005 05:19 PM

oops. Campervans not caravans. The picture didn't come up the first time - so I had to use my imagination. Went off in the wrong direction - as usual. Is there a map?
Posted by wen at December 17, 2005 06:55 AM

Actually the pic still hasn't appeared here either. and I think I shared your disappointment, wen.
Could say it was too much Enid Blyton that raised the expectations but our first family caravan holiday pre-dated my blyton scholarship.
Posted by boynton at December 17, 2005 01:48 PM

Monday, December 12, 2005

future covers

my smart house is dumb... from the House Beautiful future magazine cover

Magazine publishers of America Future Covers

via memepool


Chemcraft Atomic Energy Safe! Exciting! Real!*

see also:
Harmless! Exciting! Practical!

Fun Easy Exciting

*thanks to Bib for the link to new finds at retrokid

Thursday, December 08, 2005

new words

'podcast' is word of the year beating avian flu and sudoku... via J walk

Meanwhile Solastalgia is a new word meaning the sadness caused by environmental change

Comments: new words

An obscure Internet trophy today; tomorrow, a word familiar to all.
Posted by Dick at December 9, 2005 11:29 AM

Podcast still sounds odd to me.
Whale songs, or something.
Posted by boynton at December 9, 2005 12:12 PM

So if I combine the two, that would make ipod the grim reaper of the new millenium.
Posted by peacay at December 9, 2005 12:14 PM

Yes - if the numbers stack up in the grim grid ahead
Posted by boynton at December 9, 2005 12:18 PM

On Sunday they're Godcasts.
Posted by Tony.T at December 9, 2005 01:19 PM


On your Todd cast?
Posted by boynton at December 9, 2005 01:33 PM

I agree boynton with the podcasts sounding something like pariah baby whales or summit. Sudoku? I plan to get through life not really knowing what this is, something to do with a numbers puzzle and all of a sudden I've glazed over.
Posted by Link at December 10, 2005 10:29 PM

Wise to be wary of the addictive charm of Sudoku from what I've heard, Link.
Posted by boynton at December 11, 2005 08:51 PM

Did anyone think to tell them that Avian Flu is two words?
Posted by Adam 1.0 at December 12, 2005 08:48 PM

That kinda counting would certainly ruin the sodoku.

Posted by boynton at December 12, 2005 11:18 PM

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

hulot book

inconceivable. Mr Hulot won every point. And just with the service alone. What a Service!

Monsieur Hulot's Holiday The book of Jacques Tati's Classic Film

via I like

Comments: hulot book

Great drawing of the killer Hulot serve. Pity he never went pro - Hulot vs Borg's double handed backhand would have been something to see.
Posted by Gummo Trotsky at December 9, 2005 01:53 PM

I would have like to have seen M Hulot's Umpire take on Monsieur McEnroe too, punishing racket abuse and namecalling with effusive applause.
Posted by boynton at December 9, 2005 02:11 PM


You have a very talented and skilled writting

Say the spam bots today recast as samuel and jason and john with a mean line in flattery that could almost work except they do run on and on and vex us with sudden references to tables, stakes and slots.

i must say i got here by mistake, but now i know it's destiny...
hope steal expect - that is all that stake is capable of

Comments: writting

This Bonyton blog is goood. We no sambots.
Posted by Samuel J John at December 6, 2005 04:00 PM

"I really liked your comments here"
Posted by someone Jason at December 6, 2005 04:09 PM

Spare us the false modesty Ms B - obviously this is a tribute to your fine legal mind which has turned out so many classic writs of mandamus, habeas corpus and nil desperandum over your distinguished career in the lore.
Posted by Gummo Trotsky at December 6, 2005 04:18 PM

"I had a great time reading your comments."

btw - I gave up the lore for skilled philosophy:
"when Cosmos is Chair it will Percieve Grass "
Posted by someone johnson at December 6, 2005 04:28 PM

Too much nicety of detail disgusts the greatest part of readers, and to throw a multitude of particulars under general heads, and lay down rules of extensive comprehension, is to common understandings of little use. P.S. You Have A Nice Blog Here! I'm Going To BookMark It! Stop By My Site Sometime!
Posted by DR S JOHNSON at December 7, 2005 03:21 PM

I'll have $10 each way on No.3 in the third at Swan Hill.
Posted by Travis Johnston at December 7, 2005 04:19 PM

Yay! I play cricket for Straya.
Posted by Mitchell Johnson at December 8, 2005 04:59 PM

DR S: "No man but a blogger ever wrote, except for money"
Reading your content just made my day....

Travis, Mitchell etc:
"Beautiful Tournament becomes Central Stake in final"
Posted by boynton at December 8, 2005 05:32 PM

Monday, December 05, 2005

lennin remembered

BBC John Lennon Remembered via PCL Linkdump

Comments: lennon remembered

I tried to remember myself but I was only 3 when he died and the only recollection of Lennon from those years was singing Yellow Submarine with other runts in the sand pit.
Posted by Russell Allen at December 6, 2005 12:37 PM

I think that's as good a recollection as any.

I read a few things yesterday but not inclined to blog too piously on the anniversary.
I just get hit by that same sense of mad sadness.
Posted by boynton at December 6, 2005 12:48 PM

Mm. I remember coming home from the beach with a school friend and being told. Wow. Just blew me away. The latterday JFK-esque where-were-you rememberances. 25 years. He's been gone a lot longer than he was publically around.

Chapman, still serving his sentence after 3 parole knockbacks, and who is of course now an evangelical christian, remains married to the Japanese woman he sought as a parallel to Yoko.

I saw a Yoko trees-growing-out-of-coffins exhibition by Yoko a few years ago...I thought it was excellent.

[Interestingly, the BBC site has links to the wikipedia entries.]
Posted by peacay at December 6, 2005 01:55 PM

It was a hot afternoon swimming here too.

I try to ignore any references to MDC. All I can do. Hate the way these horrible facts become pubtrivia pulp, though I suppose that's always the way with History crib notes, dates n kings n things.
A piece of trivia I read yesterday: a reporter heard "All My Loving" piped through the hospital in Lennon's final moments... If true, this is unsettling, a case of life too neat for death?
Ex it...
Posted by boynton at December 6, 2005 02:27 PM

Instant Karma's gonna getcha.
Maybe Cynthia had been doing voodoo.
He certainly was a mongrel to her and Julian.
Maybe he was shot because Yoko deserved the pain of his loss.
I do love Paperback Writer though.
Posted by Brownie at December 8, 2005 11:28 PM

we all shine on.
Posted by boynton at December 9, 2005 10:57 AM

I read a few things yesterday but not inclined to blog too piously on the anniversary.
I just get hit by that same sense of mad sadness.

Yeah, just about me as well. The guy was just a part of life, or at least mine, a part that died that day.
Posted by cs at December 12, 2005 09:50 PM

Just watched 'Gimme Some Truth' cs, which wasn't as bad as the other Imagine doco, which I found a tad too much the other night.
Think that Mikal Gilmore (in the link over at Flop Eared) did say it well about such events shaking a sense of both future and past. The Beatles narrative could seem almost transcendent, of the times but above it. Such a senseless end to a cultural dreaming.
Posted by boynton at December 12, 2005 11:35 PM

Curses, got involved in writing a post and missed it (even after my mother, of all people, rang to remind me).
Posted by cs at December 13, 2005 01:00 PM

Pretty much like "Imagine" 88.

All these imaginings... seem to be self-generating.

Oh well - I'm glad you wrote that post, cs, even if you missed JL. I've been dwelling on it too.
Posted by boynton at December 13, 2005 01:09 PM

Saturday, December 03, 2005

talkin' poetry

The Norton Anthology of English Literature Archived Audio Readings
via bifurcated rivets

The Poetry Archive
The Poetry Archive is the world's premier online collection of recordings of poets reading their work.
via as above, kevan

Comments: talkin' poetry

Great. Thanks for that Poetry as she is spoke. Not only does it have Famous Seamus as expected of any decent collection, but it also has "Our Les" Murray and Louis MacNiece who I have only just discovered through a book of about 100+ Irish Poems on sale at Readings for about $14. But wait. There's more. The book comes with 3, yes 3 CDs of the poems being read, not by the authors themselves but by other famous Paddies (male and female). Liam Clancy does Yeats 2nd Coming. Seamus Heaney reads someone else's poems.

While we are on poetry don't forget to visit my mate Frank's Poetry here:
Posted by Francis Xavier Holden at December 3, 2005 10:53 PM

Oim green with envy re that bargain, FX.
Wonder if it's still around on special?

And thanks for the link.
Posted by boynton at December 4, 2005 03:35 PM

Thursday, December 01, 2005

vo do de o

Extremely popular songs would also inspire parody songs expressing how sick the listener was of the repetition of the popular song. "Yes, We Have No Bananas" was parodied by " I've Got The Yes We Have No Bananas Blues". Songwriters Yellen & Ager followed up their own success " Crazy Words Crazy Tune" with " Vo Do Do De O Blues" --perhaps the composers became tired of the song themselves!
Froggy's Novelty Song Lyric Collection: Introduction

As performed by the The California Ramblers

Comments: vo do de o

Spike Jones was a favourite of my childhood Musical anarchy.
I am fond of 'Never Smile At A Crocodile', and "I'm Walking Backwards to Christmas (Spike Milligan?)
Novelty songs were killed stone dead in 1976 by Bill and Boyd 'Santa Never Made It Into Darwin'.
(ref to xmas eve cyclone tracy)
Posted by Brownie at December 2, 2005 12:10 PM

Agree about that Bill and Boyd Song.
Stone dead?
And yet these are the times for novelty songs.
Posted by boynton at December 2, 2005 02:01 PM

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

looking for

said the ad at technorati...

What Am I
Looking For?

Snakes or Ladders?

Comments: looking for

& that seems to be David Hemmings circa Blow-up perched on the right-hand ladder. Other than the fact that it's in colour now the old Dome hasn't changed much.

So what was the ad for?
Posted by laura at November 30, 2005 04:35 PM

I never climbed the stacks, we just handed over a slip of paper in my day and waited for the numbers to come up ...
Pilates for bookworms?

It is for a search engine that finds products, commodifying words. My life as a trivet...
(except I found that one thru google after the other site blinked and ticked too much)
Posted by boynton at December 1, 2005 11:13 AM

Let us hope that the identification of books at the Vic State Library, is better than the ID of photos at the National Library of Australia - which has labelled St.Paul's Cathedral (no 26 in that Mark Strizic series with the stacks) as St.Patrick's.

Elsewhere they have Portland Town Hall incorrectly labelled Customs House. They know nothing. They need me, Agent 86 - I know everything. I know too much and there is no antidote.
Posted by Brownie at December 2, 2005 12:21 PM

Oh! Freak Lloyd Right! You can PURCHASE yourself!
Posted by Brownie at December 2, 2005 12:24 PM

Smart thinking, 86.

Gee, getting the cathedral wrong may have been fighting words in those sectarian times.

But thanks for alerting me to the set. Great photos of Melb -including a red rattler in Jolimont yards.
And the parisendof collins...

"the emergence of European customs"
guess it's the man jumping off the tram...
Posted by boynton at December 2, 2005 02:07 PM

A quick hello from wet and foggy downtown Bicheno.
Posted by Sedgwick at December 3, 2005 10:26 AM

Damp December in middle Melb too.
And loving it.
Beats sleepless and sultry first day of summer.
Posted by boynton at December 3, 2005 12:01 PM

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

christmases past

Among many audio treats available at Music You (Possibly) Won't Hear Anyplace Else is a blast from the past: Does Santa Claus Sleep with His Whiskers (Over or Under the Sheets) Henry Hall and the BBC Dance Orchestra.
I have blogged about this once before when I found a sample of another version*, but it was tres nostalgic to hear the full version.

His version of The Teddy Bears Picnic* with Hall on vocal, has become a perennial favourite with children sterling times

Another novelty from Hall: The Broken Record - novelty fox trot
...the title of this catchy tune is the nightmare of every 78-record collector! I love the the way in which the tune incorporates the sound of a cracked record, by imitating the repeat which occurred when the needle skipped.

at the excellent Jan's 78 warehouse

Comments: christmases past

If you go out on the field today,
you better go in disguise
If you go out on the field today,
you're in for a big surprise

For every wolf that aver there was,
will gather round, for certain because,
today's the day the Wickham Wolves have a victory

Victory time for Wickham Wolves
The mighty Wickham Wolves are having a f**cking good win today
See us, watch us kick our goals ...

Ahem. Etc.
Posted by Tony.T at November 29, 2005 06:29 PM

Sounds like it was a rare thing - a once-a-year day- for the wolves to win?
Wonder if Brisbane ever considered this a club song?
Posted by boynton at November 29, 2005 06:37 PM

They are unworthy.
Posted by Tony.T at November 29, 2005 07:11 PM

Posted by boynton at November 30, 2005 09:03 AM

a similar novelty foxtrot: Where did Robinson Crusoe go with Friday on Saturday Night?
Susoz is searching for a replacement for her worn out copy of Mitch Millers Christmas Favourites!
Posted by Brownie at November 30, 2005 10:53 AM

"They went hunting for rabbits when the weather grew colder...?"
(oh it seems I can't link here to the lyrics - but see the first hit if you Google the title. A great site with novelty songs lyrics)

You can hear the mp3 here:

(btw - unbearable was re Brisbane FC. I'm rather fond of the songs of yesterday)
Posted by boynton at November 30, 2005 11:38 AM

And does his chewing gum lose its flavour on the bed post overnight?
Posted by Gummo Trotsky at November 30, 2005 06:04 PM

I've Got The Yes We Have No Bananas Blues...
Posted by boynton at December 1, 2005 11:19 AM

Yes, we got no bananas
But man I got the blues.
I say yes, we got no bananas.
But man, I got the blues.

Banana man come on Monday,
Kept drivin' right on by,
He had my baby with him,
Now all I do is cry.

Yes, we got no bananas
But man I got the blues.
I say yes, we got no bananas.
But man, I got the blues.
Posted by Epileptic Guava Trotsky at December 1, 2005 06:43 PM

"Yesterday somebody kept on asking me,
"Say, what's a wegistable what begins with "P"?
I gave it up and I asked him to tell--
When he said, "Pananas!" I just had to yell!
P! A! N! A! N! A!
Yes! No, no! Take 'um away!
I've got the "Yes, We Have No Bananas" Blues

u cn hear it here, if u dare...

(always good to revisit that great site.
And while I was there I caught the intriguing:
"Who Paid the Rent for Mrs. Rip Van Winkle?")
Posted by no boyntons at December 2, 2005 01:36 PM

Alas, my PC is mute. So even if I dared, 't would be in vain. A sad case of nothing to gain so nothing ventured.
Posted by Gummo Trotsky at December 2, 2005 02:55 PM
Once you see the lyrics, it's E-Z to sing a long in your head if you think of a standard Eddie Jolson mutation

got around the ge*cities ban by tinyurl...
Posted by boynton at December 2, 2005 03:07 PM

Don't miss Epileptic Guava's soon to be long awaited "Missed the Link and got Totally Whooshed Blues"
Posted by Gummo Trotsky at December 3, 2005 06:46 PM

Thought it was: missed the link and varied the theme...
E.Guava's Blues rock imho.
Posted by boynton at December 4, 2005 03:24 PM

tennis ball

North Western Tennis Association

Comments: tennis ball

Aaahh. I always wondered where they kept their balls.

[My matinee show seems to go over well, honest.]
Posted by peacay at November 30, 2005 05:49 PM

Balls boys.
Posted by Tony.T at November 30, 2005 06:21 PM

It's hard to ignore the double entendre...

A North Western courting ritual?
(If so, the man in with the ciggie has the nonchalant Advantage)
Posted by boynton at December 1, 2005 11:32 AM

Mm. Decidedly unscientific of him.
Posted by peacay at December 1, 2005 03:07 PM

great link, peacay.

The science of Cporrect posture?
must be the silent p.
Posted by boynton at December 1, 2005 04:06 PM

Monday, November 28, 2005


The lastest craze for individualistic spectacles has produced this sports creation...
People October 1 1958

searching for the maker, I found my way to a Slide Show of 20th Century Spectacles where the Scissors are a good match for the rackets.

Comments: individualistic

Whenever I need a pair of novelty glasses I usually pop these on...
Posted by norabone at December 5, 2005 08:08 PM

Very nice, Nora.

Digitised glasses.
Posted by boynton at December 6, 2005 12:53 PM

Sunday, November 27, 2005

tomorrow brings

Bought a phone the other day, which almost brings me back to the beginning

Oh - you got the phone! said the guy behind the counter, beaming.
Yes, I said, beaming. I've been looking for years!

It doesn't ring and suffers from terrible halitosis, but at $10 is a pretty good buy.

Comments: tomorrow brings

Ah-me, those were the days, when AWA was a name for an endearingly daggy range of electronic goods, instead of Kevin Andrews' preferred work contracts.
Posted by Helen at November 30, 2005 11:21 AM

not to mention the P.M.G...

btw - I've just re-read this. That was not *the* phone of course (alas) just a better look-a-like.
If I bought things off of the interwebs I would buy this lovely phone, but prefer to take pot-luck at the op-shops.
My phone, flawed, was a $10 find at St Vinnies. As Is.
Posted by boynton at November 30, 2005 11:44 AM

Love - The Red Telephone

Sitting on a hillside
Watching all the people die
I'll feel much better on the other side
I'll thumb a ride

I believe in magic
Why, because it is so quick
I don't need power when I'm hypnotized
Look in my eyes
What are you seeing ... I see...
How do you feel? ...
I feel real phony when my name is
Or was that bill?

Life goes on here
Day after day
I don't know if I am living or if I'm
Supposed to be
Sometimes my life is so eerie
And if you think I'm happy
Paint me ... white ... yellow

I've been here once
I've been here twice
I don't know if the third's the fourth or if the -
The fifth's to fix
Sometimes I deal with numbers
And if you wanna count me
Count me out

I don't need the time of day
Anytime with me's ok
I just don't want you using up my time
'cause that's not right
Posted by Tony.T at November 30, 2005 06:50 PM

"I don't know if the third's the fourth or if the -
The fifth's to fix"

I think it's the fifth to fix.
But don't mention yellow or white or I might have to go looking at sixes and sevens
Posted by boynton at December 1, 2005 11:39 AM

Friday, November 25, 2005

like dreams


Who is dreaming? The user, or the Internet itself? In a certain way, both. The program generates a personal moving picture, unique, unpredictable, and forever gone when it is finished, just like dreams. But that dream is made out of pieces taken form the subconscious of the whole net, gathered by some words of the user and the obscure logic of searching algorithm

The first key words I submitted were my usual search words: black labrador. A black lab is more motif than specific dream - but the result was quite moving as it endlessly dreamt up suggestions and reminders in not-quite-figurative formation.

The other night I dreamt of about 30 cats nesting in trees alongside 2 possums. As you do. Alas, Cats in trees with possums was too complicated: Your words gave to few results... but cats in trees worked.

Cats in trees with possums gave to few but Lucy in the sky with diamonds was last seen forming a shape that resembled the band on a record cover from the sixties...

via the presurfer

Comments: like dreams

That's a very interesting dream boynton. Two wiley cats and thirty wide eyed possums. Mmmm. I will endeavour to turn up a black lab for you.

"All this is but a dream". Rx (eternally), helps with perspective.
Posted by Link at November 25, 2005 09:22 PM

Best I could do, sorry about the gauche linking I must have forgotten how to do it manually. Hope it works
Posted by Link at November 26, 2005 09:25 AM

That is just beautiful!
Many thanks. Is it one of your pics?
Posted by boynton at November 26, 2005 10:32 AM

Yes, an old slide from many moons ago.
Posted by Link at November 26, 2005 06:45 PM

Ah- I've been AWOL and have only just caught up with the story ...
Posted by boynton at November 27, 2005 12:45 PM

Thursday, November 24, 2005

with the beatles

Funny - stupid bloody tuesday was one of those days accidentally bookended by the beatles. Woke up to a beatle quiz question on the radio: What was the 2nd album? and went to bed with the Beatles (on the telly)

I was watching Dylan with Donovan in Don't Look Back then casually turned over to Two just as Postively 4th Street came up on John Lennon's Jukebox.
Lennon on Dylan, then Donovan on Dylan and folk and Lennon and co.

Anyway next day found my way to the notorious limo scene transcript from Eat the Document...

Comments: with the beatles

You can see part of the limo scene here:
Posted by MG at November 26, 2005 06:40 AM

Excellent! Thanks, MG.

(Though I'll have to wait till I'm somewhere with broadband to view it)
Posted by boynton at November 26, 2005 10:36 AM

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

festive idea

Googlin' miniature typewriter led to this festive idea:
How to Decorate an Intellectual Christmas Tree

Steps: 1. Buy a tree and set it up.
2. Put lights on it. Small white lights are perfect for an intellectual tree

If this seems challenging, then How to Make an Intellectual Christmas Tree Skirt is a concept just.too.abstract to understand.

Comments: festive idea

Noice, noice. I like the suggestion to decorate with grandad's old pipe and similar intellectul accessories.

What they don't explain is where to get an intellectual christmas tree in the first place. I don't think the Scouts sell those. I think you have to sneak onto Melbourne Uni's campus at 2am and cut your own from the garden beds outside the Bailieu.
Posted by Laura at November 23, 2005 07:01 PM

Yes - or find a more densely stocked xmas-campus somewhere?
Ceci n'est pas un toy -- Grandad.

Think I'll stick with the thick-as tree, though I do like the thought of yarn ...
Posted by boynton at November 24, 2005 10:17 AM

thanks Boynton for directing me to 'eHow'!- amazing what one may find from entering 'black labrador' in a search; and that Bookish Tree of theirs needs to be hefty to hold the weight of their suggestions toward the end.
Posted by Brownie at December 1, 2005 11:57 AM

ehow! sounds like something you'd yell if the smartypants tree fell on you...
Sounds like a handy curse actually

When I looked up ehow 'black labrador' I found:
"How to Clean a Dog's Ears: Tips From eHow Users "

So I searched ehow for how to swear:
How to remove Skunk Odor from your dog...
How to Sell Yourself to your Boyfriend/Girlfriend's family...
How to testify in a custody case...
etc etc.
Posted by boynton at December 1, 2005 12:15 PM

pocket type

The typewriter fits into a case roughly 6in square by 2in deep and weighs only 2lb.

Another bad scan from People of a notebook c1960 that will fit into a man's pocket

I found a few miniatures from the early days of typewriter history and a Giant for those macropsia type days.

Comments: pocket type

What size paper does it take?
Posted by norabone at November 24, 2005 11:29 PM

I had one of these for a while in the now long ago:
It really was noiseless, many of the normally clickety and clackety parts being subdued by the substitution of softer components.
Posted by Juke Moran at November 25, 2005 12:22 AM

Nora: Post-it notes?
No - normal apparently. A telescopic carriage.
nb - But it's the word "roughly" that worries me...

Juke: Ah - I see:

But then - the clickety-clack is one of the things I miss about the old Olivetti etc.
Posted by boynton at November 25, 2005 09:24 AM

Monday, November 21, 2005

design quote

It is worth bearing in mind this life expectation of 70 years or so when buying cutlery... *

If television sets do move about two feet up in the air, however, the interiors of many British homes are going to look strangely different.

rather randomly selected from Design Online - an electronic library containing a digitised record of Design journal for the years 1965 to 1974

via the nonist

Comments: design quote

They're v cool - I was fiddling about in there on the w/end. 70 years? But I want to eat more life than that.
Posted by peacay at November 22, 2005 07:51 PM

Would need a w/end to digest all the fare on offer there.

Think they mean a good spoon should last 70 years or so?
Posted by boynton at November 22, 2005 08:11 PM

Praps we should be buried with our cutlery.
Posted by peacay at November 22, 2005 10:37 PM

epitaph: I had a pretty good knife.
Posted by boynton at November 23, 2005 10:21 AM
Post a comment

Sunday, November 20, 2005



Image provided by FX.

That is - a whole swag of images was generously provided and delivered by FX yesterday in the form of a collection of old magazines which includes People circa late 1950's - mid 60's, and a 1961 Australian Women's Weekly .
I've only just begun to browse (with a cup of robur tea and a sense of manicure-manqué) but may share some impressions in due course.

(The image above was the first to leap out and is from an article discussing the way a man's mental outlook can affect his vision causing terrifying hallucinations . It is echoed by a man in a suit peering at a small VW Beetle about to run over his foot. A severe case of Micropsia apparently)

Comments: people

Look! Here's where FX has his barbys.
Posted by Tony.T at November 20, 2005 06:12 PM

Look and learn...

Maybe this how Barbie and co. drive to a rantwittering...
Posted by boynton at November 20, 2005 10:37 PM

Oh - I'm not sipping Robour tea at all, am I.

- thanks to Ramage,who has found a great sign of the tea in its pure o-lessness)
Posted by boynton at November 22, 2005 12:56 PM

Most men are little boys in big bodies they are pathetic!
Posted by at November 24, 2005 07:39 PM

A good hallucination is hard to find...
Posted by boynton at November 24, 2005 07:52 PM

Thursday, November 17, 2005

npr lars

After watching part 2 of No Direction Home I checked back into the NPR 100 to listen to Like A Rolling Stone*and Blowin In The Wind

Comments: npr lars

Dylan? He was the Uruguyan centre-half that didn't get a run was he? Poor bastado!
Posted by peacay at November 17, 2005 11:08 PM

'You shouldn't let other people get your kicks for you...'

(and I couldn't tell you for sure. I missed the game.)
Posted by boynton at November 17, 2005 11:29 PM

caption close

The inaugural caption contest will close within 24 hours.


Just as it disappears off the scroll, entries are closed at comment 27. Thank you for your response.
In curly matters of judgement, I knew there would be some system available to determine the best entry, either in a hat or on the net and the latter has not let me down. You may see who the winner is here. (If you key in 1 and 27)

First prize is either a passionate kiss with your choice of partner in a public place or a bunch of daffodils.*

conditions apply

Comments: caption close

Just one last caption cook.
Posted by Tony.T at November 17, 2005 11:44 AM

I'll endeavour to cap the comments soon
Posted by boynton at November 17, 2005 11:48 AM

Well, according to my random number, (3), Boynton wins! Boo!!

Actually, that's okay. I didn't want 1st place anyhow. Don't like the prize. Would prefer the promised can o'worms. Is that 2nd, 3rd, or 4th?
Alternatively, could I have the key? (seeings Miss B has already run off with the rollerskates?)

Posted by wen at November 18, 2005 12:19 PM

Really? "I could use every item in any of those prize categories."

According to my latest figures, #16 wins. That's Helen. Congratulations.
Posted by boynton at November 18, 2005 12:33 PM

You'll never believe it - No.5. (Quite obviously the number generator has exquisite taste.)

I rock!
Posted by Tony.T at November 20, 2005 02:33 PM

well - err... that was the first result I got actually. I assumed it was some sort of malfuntion.

I just rechecked: #18...

No comment.

Have you rigged it, Tony?
Posted by boynton at November 20, 2005 02:48 PM

No need.
Posted by Tony.T at November 20, 2005 05:32 PM

After entering various combinations of numbers a dozen or so times, I can now confirm I won. In your face losers!
Posted by Nabakov at November 21, 2005 12:35 AM

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


Find your music in the computational universe

Wolfram Tones: generate a composition

via memepool

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Monday, November 14, 2005

jazz chef

seen over the weekend...

Green Eggs and Ham and Thelonious Monk (via grow a brain)

Comments: jazz chef

Fortunately the chef hasn't well-done his back.
Posted by Tony.T at November 14, 2005 06:10 PM

Is it so rare to improvise?

& how many discs has he put out?
Posted by boynton at November 14, 2005 06:29 PM

The Chef does jazz with his back?
Thats what I call avante garde. Sun Ra eat your heart out.

I guess the next sign will be "The Chef's Back"
Posted by Francis Xavier Holden at November 14, 2005 07:45 PM

"The Chef's Back" sounds like a great band.

Have they ever played with the "Half-Waisted"?
Posted by boynton at November 14, 2005 11:45 PM

Saturday, November 12, 2005

magic drawings

And it's quite possible that I have blogged on this before too*, but this drawing from The Magic Pudding was a favourite and inspired a dream of treehouse living somewhere in the future... (or is that now the past.)

The Magic Pudding - Covers and Illustrations

From a great collection of Lindsay links at Bibliodyssey

Comments: magic drawings

It's one of my old favourites too, thanks for posting this
Posted by Helen at November 16, 2005 01:50 PM


Is being up in the "Dandenongs" like having an attack of the "vapors", or the "fantods"?
Posted by: Juke Moran at November 8, 2005 08:15 PM

Only if it involves Paddle Boats. Ye olde the better.

(I did visit beautiful Emerald Lake as a child, and this scene was still the closest approximation of the Anglo otherness as depicted on the covers of old Schoolgirl Annuals that I had seen. Who knows - if at some later date I had been paddling with a waving boyfriend, the planetary alignment of imagination may have caused the vapours...Too late now to fulfill that dream - the olde wooden boats have gone for plastic tractor-style, every one)

girl's crystal picturesque*

(I was all set to post this last night - but was advised by flatmate, the churlish norabone, that I've posted on this sort of thing before several times, it was recycled content and boring the first time... New readers may like it - unless of course they wandered in from google looking for champagne bottle pot sound wav. Cheers.)

Comments: vapours

Dandenongs- that would be up Upwey way?
Posted by Francis Xavier Holden at November 13, 2005 01:10 PM

via upalong road somehwere?
(I grew up way down the other side)

(& I remember the song - but not well enough to sing it,alas)
Posted by boynton at November 13, 2005 01:24 P

Friday, November 11, 2005

draw with friends

Imagination Cubed - an interactive, collaborative drawing board. (via as above)

Draw with friends or withdrawn friends...

Thursday, November 10, 2005

bing ping

Needless double-take last week when I glimpsed the first plastic xmas tree of the season at Coles. What else would you expect in the first week of November?
Anyway - the excellent blog Music You (Possibly) Won't Hear Anyplace Else has posted a collection of unhip Christmas songs to go with this early sighting.

I'm listening to Bing's Christmas Dinner Country Style and dreaming of a square dancexmas. I was chasing the lyrics but think this site is confusing its sachets with the sashays, as the ?'s suggest.
Now the sachet (?) hello met country ham
And double-sachet (?) ham

Meanwhile, googling bing led me to the news at Bing Crosby's Internet museum, where the headlines feed makes good reading...

Only Bing was more popular in America in 1947.

Bing sired 3 children in his late 50s without Viagra.

What did Bing Crosby have 25 more of than the King of Pop?

Bing's advice to would-be hogs.

Sad memories of White Christmases past.

It's time to put away the Bing music for another year.

Artie Shaw knew hip.

Loose lips synch ships.

Rediscovering Going My Way

Bing's death was the final straw.

Was Bing bad for Christmas?

Glenn Miller is no longer in the mood.

Bing sings in new Dylan biography.

Bing Crosby, protest singer.

Bing took the hobo out of Hoboken.

Cameo by Bing does not materialize.

Bob and Bing team up to be among the 100 icons of the past century.

Bing Crosby, pot head?

High Hopes

Gordon Lightfoot followed in the steps of Bing Crosby.

The Bing Crosby of American technology.

Skitch reflects on Bing's advice.

Bing beat the bottle, but the bottle beat Bix.

Pat Boone was more influenced by Bing than by Elvis.

How about a Bing party in the Canadian Rockies?

Bing's phone call clinched the deal.

Do rappers have a secret yearning to be Bing?

Bing couldn't probe the depths of despair like Frank.

Why did the soldiers cheer when the Crosby movie abruptly stopped?

The evolution of golf

Comments: bing ping

In the 1940's my grandmother was the President of The St.Kilda Chapter of the Bing fanclub.
Rudolph The Rednosed Reindeer was written by Gene Autry (cowboy war hero).
Somebody on my links list ( Susoz or Crazybrave?) has worn out their copy of Mitch Miller Sings Christmas, so I always keep an eye out for it in opshops.
Christian or not, one cannot fight Christmas. department stores make sure of that. This year, to show why I am not giving frankincense and myrrh, I will include with my Nativity cards, photocopy of my impressive mastercard balance which still comprises last year's frankincense and myrrh. My favourite christmas song is of course, Elvis: Blue Christmas.
Posted by Brownie at November 10, 2005 08:31 PM

Spied at Target Airport West.

One conifer: plastic.

Colour: purple!
Posted by Sedgwick at November 10, 2005 10:39 PM

My father's always bin a fan. And I like him.
But was not allowed to play that mp3 of Christmas Dinner Country Style in this house. Household objected violently.

We had a sing-a-long with Mitch record in my childhood household. Will look out for the Christmas one too. Saw *him* - "in new Dylan Biography" the other night too. Think I saw him dissed in Mommas and Poppas doco a few years back - or did I imagine that?

Not "spotted" at Airport West?
& maybe purple means perennial?
Posted by boynton at November 11, 2005 11:32 AM

'No Direction Home' Part I was great.

Down Under Xmas..
I used to get in trouble for playing Lennon's 'Happy Xmas War is Over' full-ball ... and hiding the Bling Crassby records.
Posted by peacay at November 11, 2005 05:08 PM

I LOVED NO Direction Home...

and that tree is the right direction for Oz...
(well if it's trimmed with snow-business, that is)

And I don't know if my levels of tolerance of Bing extend to Christmas muzak yet. Probably not.
Would still sing HCWisOver in preference, despite it being co-opted by Candlelight inc, with the sanitised chorus of "merry Christmas" and all...
Posted by boynton at November 11, 2005 05:18 PM

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

n caption

A caption contest chez boynton, suggested by Nabakov

Comments: n caption

"Name of a name! The swine promised me I'd only be posing for his private collection!"
Posted by Nabakov at November 9, 2005 12:49 AM

"Oh, the shame! Those knee-highs are so last year!"
Posted by wen at November 9, 2005 09:10 AM

Yes I know, dear, museum fatigue is a bummer.
Posted by boynton at November 9, 2005 12:36 PM

- museum fatigue, my arse
Posted by boynton at November 9, 2005 01:47 PM

"It's true! The eye DOES follow you around the room."
Posted by Tony.T at November 9, 2005 01:51 PM

Looking more closely at background, would like to modify slightly:

"Quelle Horreur! Those kneehighs are so NOT chic!"

& isn't there some rule about employees & proprietors & all their family members not entering competitions, B? Like, shouldn't you be disqualified?
Posted by wen at November 9, 2005 02:04 PM

whooaaa! I never expected to be goosed in this museum. When are we next here Ethel?
Posted by Francis Xavier Holden at November 9, 2005 02:15 PM

"What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of fuckin' assholes. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." "

Opps, wrong caption contest.
Posted by Nabakov at November 9, 2005 03:57 PM

It took Mr l'Autelier some months to discover why his wife had left him on that fateful day.
Posted by at November 9, 2005 04:21 PM

Ooooofh! Bitch has had lipo!
Posted by peacay at November 9, 2005 07:02 PM

Nabakov tranzilated:

"whizzat you lookin at? y-aw a bunch of fuckin assholes with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back. you need thugz like me so you can point yo fuckin finga n say, "thats tha bad guy." "

Always knew you wuz a thug.
Posted by wen at November 9, 2005 07:53 PM


"I wonder if that woman looking in that window, knows she has a hole in her stocking . I must remember to think about confronting my husband about the affair he's having with that wretched girl, Evelyn. Oh Lordy, I hate headspace today"

"Jesus Christ I need to fart. Why are men so obsessed with bottoms, this is terribly tedious and he's going to want me chase him around with that riding crop later."

"Oooh my goodness, I think I've just found a hole in my tooth" My my, look at the girl's arse and those boots! Saucy or what?"
Posted by Link at November 9, 2005 11:11 PM

Oh. It's a mirror!
Posted by norabone at November 9, 2005 11:30 PM

norabone, indeed a wise man once said, before he was taken round the back, blindfolded and taken aim at, "the arse is a mirror to the soul", and as that other wise dichter, Johann Gottfried Von Herder also said: "Touch not the flute when bums are sounding around."

[channels TT.] "Oh non! That's me in the frame again. The gilt! the gilt!"

"Is there a proctologist in da house?" (Sorry, tranzilated the wrong Nabakov caption fantasy.)
Posted by Sedgwick at November 10, 2005 06:49 AM

"& isn't there some rule about employees & proprietors & all their family members not entering competitions, B? Like, shouldn't you be disqualified?"

No correspondence will be entered into, nyah.

(glides off on brand new pair of roller skates mysteriously acquired in mail, with complimentary chocolates and a year's subscription to "Australian Proctologist")

Actually I should explain: as well as suggesting this contest, Nabakov chose and supplied pic, so he be tha Judge.

As for me - I think I will swipe that phrase of Link's from now on:
"Oh Lordy, I hate headspace today"...

Contest still going AFAIK.
Carry on.
Posted by boynton at November 10, 2005 11:25 AM

It was only then that Edwina realised she'd left the house with no underpants on.
Posted by Helen at November 10, 2005 01:34 PM

"Mon Dieu! Les Sans Culottes have struck again. First my Deux Cheveux and now l'Académie des Beaux-Arts. Marie, take me home, I feel in a condition of swoon."

"Oh really maman, the car was insured and we've all seen those fotos of your Moulin Rouge days on le web."
Posted by Nabakov at November 10, 2005 04:41 PM

That's quite a mouthful, Nabs. It looks more like she's sputtering "Gosh!" (en français, of course) round a beurre-less croy-zant. Or even a La Salada.
Posted by Tony.T at November 10, 2005 06:18 PM

Tony T's 'the eye does follow you' wins. Still, perhaps I'm being one-eyed, or even biassed.
Posted by Tim at November 10, 2005 06:23 PM

"Well hush ma bouche! Elle est maman!""
Posted by Brownie at November 10, 2005 08:38 PM

"I wonder if the Chloe in 24 looks like that?"
Posted by cs at November 10, 2005 11:46 PM

Woman: "Sacre bleu what are doing monsieur?"
Man: "I'm having a tug whilst watching a naked woman's arse"

I'd like to donate my winnings to charity.
Posted by flute at November 11, 2005 09:47 PM

Paris always looked better by moonlight.
Posted by Laura at November 17, 2005 04:23 PM

What's the prize?
Posted by Damien at November 17, 2005 07:43 PM

Uh oh...

The prize is thinking up a prize? (the exclusive rights thereof)

Or will that comment win the prize, Damien?
Posted by boynton at November 17, 2005 09:10 PM

Preliminary research on this would seem to indicate that Prizes can be a can o worms...
Posted by boynton at November 17, 2005 09:25 PM

Putain de merde!! Cela cochon!
It was for this reason
that he had me wear those long blue stockings!
Posted by Juke Moran at November 17, 2005 10:59 PM

Anyone'd swear she could see.
Posted by Jim at November 19, 2005 06:40 PM


Follow the road running north, jumping from cloud to cloud to stay high.

FLIGHT CLUB: A Java interactive glider simulation

via apothecary's drawer

You have landed. You flew 5km. Press to fly again.

Friday, November 04, 2005

street sign

Up in the Dandenongs, I noticed the Parks Victoria goldensummery interpretive sign was inevitably defaced, but suprised to see Streeton after Zorro...

Comments: street sign

You're just looking for disfigured signage now.
Posted by norabone at November 4, 2005 05:03 PM

Paint that a shame.
Posted by Tony.T at November 4, 2005 07:19 PM

"The Phan-tom of the Op-e-ra is here...inside your mind."
Posted by norabone at November 5, 2005 10:56 AM

No Coinicidental...don't think I'm haunted by disfigurement or urban scrawl yet...

I paint sayin nothing

The Phantom ... is perfect, Nora.
couldn't think beyond the zorro
Posted by boynton at November 6, 2005 02:28 PM

So where's the caption contest?

I'm just brimming over with spontaneous one-liners I prepared earlier.
Posted by Nabakov at November 7, 2005 09:42 PM

Well-rehearsed spontaneity works best.
Posted by Tony.T at November 8, 2005 10:00 AM

Is being up in the "Dandenongs" like having an attack of the "vapors", or the "fantods"?
Posted by Juke Moran at November 8, 2005 08:15 PM

It's all in the timing, boys.

Yes, Juke...

Posted by boynton at November 8, 2005 09:06 PM

It's like "being up in the Catskills". Same effect.
Posted by Tony.T at November 9, 2005 04:35 PM

Thursday, November 03, 2005

mice singing

Wavs of singing mice at dirty beloved.

(who is on song with wonderful things to browse in recent posts)

Comments: mice singing

Not quite the same as the stridulation of the fireant or termite headbanging though..
Posted by peacay at November 4, 2005 05:35 PM

A mouse and fruit fly duet would be something...

Great link, thanks
Posted by boynton at November 6, 2005 02:15 PM

Bizarre but delightful. Another Boynton coup...
Posted by Dick at November 8, 2005 10:32 AM

It is delightful...
'Dirty Beloved' has his ears to the ground...
Posted by boynton at November 8, 2005 09:01 PM

what a life

via I like from the National Archive Public Information Films...

What A Life Richard Massingham
A tongue in cheek look at postwar austerity

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

cup day diva

Melbourne Cup Day 1965 David Moore

They're expecting a crowd of 140,000 at Flemington...I beat the local TAB rush and placed a bet on Cup Eve. Champagne (French) (cleanskin) (soft and citrusy) on ice...
Hope the Diva wins. This year I abandoned the complex number 17 system and bet on a horse that sounds vaguely like my surname.
(Every horse in the field is a chance...)

Cup Day Edith Wall

Comments: cup day diva

The David Moore photo is a cracker.
Posted by laura at November 1, 2005 11:57 AM

65: The year of the Shrimp

can't find that classic photo which merges the two: Shrimp offending the stockingned, gloved and behatted
Posted by boynton at November 1, 2005 12:13 PM

Shrimp? Don't give me the raw prawn.
Posted by Tony.T at November 1, 2005 05:50 PM

The Gup, as viewed on the Lebanon St Seriously Hi-Tech Big Screen. (Another blanket finish was portented as order of the day, but not to be by dint of the time honoured racing cliche, "class will prevail".)

... as it was with the Vice-Regal g'daughter taking out the Shrimp (and shame on you T.T. for the above) Revisited division of Fashions on the Field ... well, back lawn to be humbly accurate.
Posted by Sedgwick at November 1, 2005 08:22 PM

Throw i ton the Barbie?
Today's models would be plank-ton, Tony.

Very Impressive, Sedge.
Sur l'herbe sure beats couch spud and closing the northerly curtains on such a beautiful day.

However - depsite my vague-surname-sound horse not placing, I did win money on "On a Jeune".
(That was my very old system of backing the Geelong Cup Winner for a place.)
A great Cup Day all round...

Posted by boynton at November 2, 2005 09:33 AM

btw did find one pict of Shrimp and crowd
Posted by boynton at November 2, 2005 10:11 AM

Little Miss Sedge wins best frock; the crocheted aqua number (in the David Moore)is definitely worst (though her dreadful white bonnet would probably do well in an Easter hat parade). Woman in pink (clutching ciggie)looks most dangerous. Shrimp has best knees.
Posted by wen at November 5, 2005 05:04 PM

great retro fashions of the field notes, wen.
(maybe there's a regular feature in that)

Lady in Pink maybe dangerous, but at least she's not knitting her brows into a frown as are most of the other ladies. I like the red peaked hat myself.
Posted by boynton at November 6, 2005 02:35 PM

the red peak jobbie is the hippest look of the time.
the crochet suit and bonnet, sorry wen, is actually the most representative of the era dress up look.
I am, without doubt, the absolute font of Sixties and Shrimpton knowledge. I still have, in Vogue binders, every issue of British Vogue of 1970, 71, 72, 73, and subsequent years not bound, or not complete, but certainly have every glossy mag I have ever bought since the Sixties.
Jean's 1965 hatlessness sent The Melbourne Establishment into a horror groove they have never really climbed out of.
Posted by Brownie at November 10, 2005 08:52 PM

I think the crocheted number brings back scary memories of being dressed up for special occasions (always a horrible pinching & twisting & pulling & tweaking experience as I recall) in clothes granny had made specially (in pastel pink & with bonnet to match). Ugh. And my Mum's wedding (dec 1965) outfit was actually a white crocheted top (just like that) with a just-above-the-knee skirt (they were poor & it could all be reworn) which I always thought was terribly terribly boring & unromantic. To make matters worse, my mother had very short hair. Not a bride to inspire yr average 10 year old -- though quite smart when you look at the photos now.

Would like to get my hands on that magazine collection, Brownie!
Posted by wen at November 11, 2005 11:07 AM

Yes - one of my sisters used to exhibit crochet-refusal for the scratchiness of which you speak,wen.

And I am xtremely impressed with that Collection, Brownie.
A scanner, and there's a dedicated blog (or two) in that...?
Posted by boynton at November 11, 2005 11:21 AM

Posted by wen at November 11, 2005 12:42 P

Monday, October 31, 2005


I bought this Penguin Burns down at the local op shop. There is an introductory Life of the poet compiled from letters:

" I do not find my farm that pennyworth I was taught to expect, but I believe, in time, it may be a saving bargain. You will be pleased to hear that I have laid aside the idle éclat, and bind every day after my reapers." *

"As to my renumeration, you may think my songs either above or below price; for they shall absolutely be the one or the other

Comments: pennyworth

This has been freaking me out for days, and now I think i know why: Magritte.

Also I'm worried about the mental health of your op-shop's volunteers.
Posted by laura at November 2, 2005 01:05 PM

My great-great-auntie and role model Catherine Carswell wrote a quite passable biog of Burns. (She was a D H Lawrence groupie too, & wrote a biog of him called "The Savage Pilgrimage" but I forgive her for that 'cos she was escaping a pretty boring and hyper-religious Scottish upbringing.)
She also made legal history by divorcing her abusive husband on the grounds of insanity, which hadn't been done before.

I only found out about her when in my thirties because my grandmother disapproved of her violently and never mentioned her. I knew there must have been a good reason why I never liked that woman (My GM, not CC.)
Posted by Helen at November 2, 2005 02:13 PM

Yes it's hard not to see this as Art, Laura.
May have to look for a pattern...

(Ah & I missed the puns about ed. notes and spare bob)

That's pretty impressive, Helen!
She sounds like a good role model.
Posted by boynton at November 2, 2005 02:39 PM

So ugly they needed 2 stickers?

Looks like his long-johns. They could have slapped an extra sticker down there. I wouldn't pay a dollar for the painting. (now you're going to tell me it's really famouslike and sold for 723 trazillion gazoos)

(nice story Helen)
Posted by peacay at November 2, 2005 03:08 PM

painting here:
u cn zoom and be the judge...

I used to love the sight o' 'two stickers' - as it often signified a further mark-down in price when the book didn't move...Nothing much beats a bargain on a bargain, especially when you can trace its history.
But this is merely duplication...
Posted by boynton at November 2, 2005 03:41 PM

ok ok. I be proved wrong. That be a fetchin' young lad depictionated.
Anecdotally I can only ever recall femmes being enthused by the sale-upon-sale device. I always think that they don't deserve the custom for having overpriced previously. Reminds me of all this '99% fat free' nonsense. Artifice.
Posted by peacay at November 2, 2005 03:52 PM

Poor fellow has a price on his head.
Posted by MG at November 3, 2005 01:53 PM

Spare bob to burn?
Posted by boynton at November 3, 2005 02:41 PM

Poor fellow has a price on his head

That's a real "shit! Why didn't I think of that?" moment.
Posted by Helen at November 4, 2005 10:14 AM


(footnote: it was also a weird moment as I then opened The Age to see:
"Robert Burns, pictured, was threatened with a charge of sedition in 1794. He is rumoured to have "tempered his writing", and written under assumed names as a result of the threat ")
Posted by boynton at November 4, 2005 10:28 A