more flo

my foe. As I was sweeping I noticed her skulking round the stove, pausing with her characteristic huff, a sort of sonic thought bubble, then becoming slightly obsequious, almost submissively so. I investigate the gap that she is eyeing off sheepishly and see a largish lamb neck chop from last night. This is where I make my first mistake. I offer it to her. She dashes out and wallows on the lawn. Belatedly fearing the consequences of her indigestion I go and softly ask her to drop it. She digs in. My second mistake. I corner her, picking up a shovel for effect. She swallows it whole. I clumsily administer home brew emetics. She wags her tail. I google emetic, dog on the internet. I give her another stronger dose of salt water. She snaps at a fly, huffs and lies in the sun. Vets give conflicting advice. The latter saying ha ha that's blue heelers for you and adding very casually, keep an eye on her. Not easy advice. Sitting it out for 48 hours is no mean feat for neurotics.

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Comments: more flo

"I corner her, picking up a shovel for effect. She swallows it whole."

I once knew an old woman who swallowed a fly. Never a dog who bolted a shovel.
Posted by Sedgwick at January 24, 2004 02:53 PM

Did she call a spade a spade?

whoops. I added the shovel line belatedly for added effect. Didn't check it, did I. Guess it's too late now to fix.
But she may as well have swallowed the effin shovel.
Posted by boynton at January 24, 2004 03:07 PM

Spade dog ... very responsible.

(Bad pun ... very irresponsible.)

"Guess it's too late now to fix." ... reminds me of the euphemism used for 'that' visit to the vet which to a wee lad's ears (Docked at the age of 4. Were very "sticky out".) was an odd thing to hear of a perfectly healthy animal.

"We'll have to take the dog to the vet soon to have it fixed."
Posted by Sedgwick at January 24, 2004 03:38 PM

Gosh - you do seem to bring out the unintended pun in one, Mr. S.
From now on I.May.Have.To.Run.Every.Word.Through.
A.Sedge.Check.

I think that's ok...

Flo has been fixed btw. Or speyed. Neutered. Or whatever.
Just hoping she won't need be needing another $$$ op in 48 hours.
Posted by boynton at January 24, 2004 03:54 PM

Czech.
Posted by Sedgwick at January 24, 2004 04:04 PM

Bounz.
Posted by boynton at January 24, 2004 04:35 PM

Arrezt.
Posted by Tony.T at January 24, 2004 11:23 PM

houz

(as in under houz arrezt with three hounz)
Posted by boynton at January 25, 2004 11:10 PM

z z topped.

Game, zet, match.
Posted by Sedgwick at January 26, 2004 08:16 AM