Boynton will post as normal and go on talking about walking dogs in local park, two of whom now officially qualify as pariahs having first run madly along muddy banks, chasing ducks just as a grandma with parka-d small child points to classic big duck show about to start. Look Look! …a flash of splashing… Ducks fly away quacking in full symphony, in chaos grandma says: naughty dog, and no doubt boynton naughty by association. So ok Flo: first warning, on probation, boynton says, loudly. An ominous lull. In horror boynton stands by as Flo sprints across an oval towards two small dogs with priors. And an irrational phobia about Flo. Who only wants to play – or round things up. Rounding up any such cow-proxy is your standard ACD non-contact sport. All among the wool, boys… Slight skirmish follows, crazy woman cracks up, husband runs and blasts boynton full on, in public, boynton slumps in guilt bashing and nods limply as turning worm has big dancing tantrum and demands the total banishing of Flo from park for good or I’m dobbing. Ok ok ok? Log of claims. . His wool cap mocks his rabid authority. Can you grab your dog! He shouts, dancing…ok…Will you grab your dog!! Ok I will - if you stop moving, boynton says, looping chain around notorious criminal now all dumb submission, and slow foots it back, Flo in tow, as major villain, and b as guilty cohort following – knowing all is lost. Our mad days of running amok as half a pack, as wild out of control pack animals, as a suburban-wolf pack for half an hour now officially kaput kids, off limits. Boynton mourns. Displays a lack of control. Alas this story won’t unfold with a good hollywood twist of bad dog going straight, woman having last laugh, alpha control. No just back to farm for flo probably. It is all out of our control. On the way back Flo follows an arc of a low flying sound skywards from its footpath shadow. Rounding things up. Always on patrol.
Comments: flo - no e
Force feed Flo milk and make her listen to Beethoven.
Posted by Tony.T at July 23, 2003 02:17 PM
too many "ee's" in Beethoven, Tony ;)
For the purposes of this e-less tale, I'll stick with Bach.
Posted by boynton at July 23, 2003 02:21 PM
Good work. Possibly you could try compromising and ask your local council to match a ban on Flo with a ban on alpha-blokists. This might work as an ambit claim.
Posted by Gummo Trotsky at July 23, 2003 02:54 PM
Nice idea, Gummo.
Actually I think that bloke was only masquerading as an alpha. (He was the beta half of Lady Mac. cracking up in background.) Or else he may have been a local councillor.
We were kinda in the wrong though - and had I been able to use a certain vowel, the word "shame' and "ashamed" would have featured alongside "guilt"...
Posted by boynton at July 23, 2003 03:10 PM
Since your at ease with Es in the comments, may I ask if it was an official off-leash park? Were the objects of Flo's round up attempt leashed?
Posted by Gummo Trotsky at July 23, 2003 03:57 PM
I assume Flo is the one with blue heeler blood?
Sounds like my Australian Shepherd who has taken to nipping at the heels of guests as he tries to herd them out the door when he's tired of their company.
And my beloved grandson ran off in tears when I assured him Skye was only trying to "herd him." He ran and told his mommy that grandpa said that Skye was trying to "hurt" him, and at times it's difficult to tell the difference.
Posted by Loren at July 23, 2003 04:08 PM
Gummo - it is offically free running - but I have to admit that "off leash" doesn't mean "rush" other small dogs etc inducing pink fit.
These two dogs were off the lead too. I can see that the problem is partly theirs - and Flo has had no probs with any other dogs. Other owners have actually enjoyed the work- out their dogs receive from her herding behaviour.
But as we've been warned off by beanie man- and as I concede fault, I think I just have to either avoid park, keep her on the lead, start doing some serious alpha work, or send her back to farm. Moral of story: get a labrador.
Posted by boynton at July 23, 2003 04:21 PM
Loren - yes she's the famous blue heeler - or the "labrador in the super-hero mask" as I once observed.
It was quite upsetting. My labrador (in his "entire" days) was not the best dog with other males in the park. When this aggression first occurred it was quite baffling and a cause of great dismay : how could this gentle sook turn nasty - a mr Hyde in the park? He's so benign now - and I was getting used to stress-free walks. Alas.
btw - it's a shame your grandson "heard" hurt as "herd"...I had to avoid using that word myself in the exercise. I employed the less expressive but perhaps safer "round" as in "rounded up"...
Posted by boynton at July 23, 2003 04:33 PM
I know Flo. She's the ACD with ADD.
Posted by Nora at July 23, 2003 05:08 PM
Yes but she's "gifted"
Posted by boynton at July 23, 2003 05:47 PM
When I was a kid we had a border collie with very similar habits. Fortunately he wasn't prone to giving the heel nips that cattle dogs (apparently) give refractory beasts. Right now, I'm glad that Dad never thought to teach the bugger any of those whistle signals they use in field trials.
Posted by Gummo Trotsky at July 23, 2003 05:54 PM
When she first arrived here (see 'alien dog' post?!) she was so untrained that she seemed to know her alternative name - two sharp whistles - as well if not better than her given name.
"Two sharp whistles" is a bit of a mouthful to call - or yell - across an oval, of course...
Posted by boynton at July 23, 2003 06:04 PM
Jeez Leweez, I never spotted the eelessness. Guess I couldn't see the eez in the treez. Hope that makes up for it.
Posted by Tony.T at July 23, 2003 10:35 PM
On the other hand Tee you could have just casually dropped a bit of "degenerescence" or "feebleheartedness" into the comment to bump up the e-quota.
(For those who are wondering why - it's part of the "online project" I mentioned in an earlier post)
Posted by boynton at July 24, 2003 12:33 PM
What letter was omitted first time 'round? I still find myself waking suddenly during the night, upright & gripped in fear, reliving a short-lived (ha, figure that out) attempt at trying something similar -- inspired by b.
While I have forgiven you for coercing/dragging me through such an unfortunate circumstance/happenstance, I do remember the first sentence being somewhat rewarding. Ever again? I suppose, but this time I will be sure not to 'try' -- it's more fun to let the dachshund take care of the content.
You astound with the ability, and inspire continually.
Posted by .es at July 24, 2003 04:53 PM
I remember your sentence - and it was rewarding for readers, .es.
It's good to be sentenced in this way: it can generate content almost as easily as a random logarithm thing (providing the "hunds" are in charge of course.)
I hope you serve another sentence. Or a round of sentences for us to enjoy.
Posted by boynton at July 24, 2003 05:13 PM
But what letter was it? Was it not an 'e' then as well? Or perhaps it was another, easier to escape from. The more elusive-able fun-type thing. I persused b@b**g*p*t but was beaten back by the repeated blows to the face and neck. Someone needs to get a wrangle on these wayward sons.
Has anyone see a little one?
Posted by .es at July 24, 2003 05:22 PM
I bypassed the wayward and googled up the e-lusive entry:
Yes it was an e - but - in that game (as requested by meredith) - you had to, inversely, have NO e-less sentence. Contrary to what was said at the time, I think the first task was slightly harder. Or maybe I just didn't let the dogs into it...
btw: must transfer my archives across soon!
Posted by boynton at July 24, 2003 05:33 PM