There were no gnomes to be seen in the snooty nursery with Vivaldi, and why would there be.
So we went downstream to the garden centre where polymer cockies and budgies happily hang out with the medium shrubs and climbing roses.
There were about six footy gnomes gracing the terraces,
but none in red and white. So I asked the saleswoman:
- Do you have any Swans Footy Gnomes?
- Did you see any about?
- No. I think we only stock the Melbourne teams...
I don't mean to be racist.
I was more offended on behalf of South Melbourne Football Club. As a dyed-in-the-wool Victorian, I agree with the sentiment: NSW is a different country. But as there were a couple of non-Victorian gnomes in the cluster, a Crow and a Docker, I don't think this was an official policy.