Monday, July 12, 2004


this bird has flu


Comments: flown

The Flu Hat Cure.

Mix up a litre of hot toddy - usually brandy, whiskey/hy or rum, one quarter cut with fishpiss (water) and bring to fingerhurting but not boiling heat.

Then add a cinnimon stick the size of Donald Trump's real dick, half a dozen cocktail-sized lemon slices and some drunkenly hammered cloves (enough to spill over Clara Bow's lips without flaking.)

Simmer, ponder and prowl for the length of four good 60s pop songs.

Now add a big swingeing tablespoon of unsalted butter from happy cows, another equally butch helping of brown sugar, and an extra shot of brandy into the mix for emergencies.

Simmer and stir for a few minutes. And the same fer yer hot toddy too.

Then put a hat on yer foot and starting drinking. When you can't focus on the titfer no more, that's when the flu cure is kicking in.
Posted by Nabakov at July 14, 2004 12:18 AM

Wot Nabakov said. He may be a rum cove but he is a delight.

I am sorry to hear you are sick, gracious Boynton. Get Nora onto the cures.
Posted by David Tiley at July 14, 2004 03:14 AM

1 part Boddington's Irish Moss.
10 parts single malt.
Glacé cherry.

Light blue touch paper and retire.

And before you drop off into the arms of Morpheus and Lethe wards do sink, brighten your day with the musings of this very odd chap.

(Suspect he lives not too far from Royston Vasey.)
Posted by Sedgwick at July 14, 2004 10:48 AM

Ah merci mes amis malt.

I've have partaken of the brandy bit of the suggested cures anyway - and will shortly go out scouting for an umbrella to match.
There's an enormous garden type hiding dormant in the cellar here that may be proportionate to the dosage of brandy I prescribe for myself.
And the sixties swingin' song I'd choose to "Simmer, ponder and prowl"?
The Julie London number here (#3) - whose lyrics are very easy to remember even after a few HT's...

Apologies for not being able to get around the traps folks. Gosh - a day or two is a long time in the b'spherical loop.
(I'll check out that link properly sooooon, Sedge.)

Posted by boynton at July 14, 2004 08:25 PM

the Julie London link seems to have broken?

Try #22 here:,%20Vols.%201-2%20(Remastered):1921939424
Posted by boynton at July 14, 2004 09:02 PM

Watch a few
Marx Brothers
Quai Brothers
or any funny

Roll your eyes.
close your eyes

Posted by Nick Piombino at July 15, 2004 12:08 PM

I think Manzillworld man may be onto something. Since visiting his site, I've cleaned my bathroom twice and thrown out that eavesdropping prick of a cactus.

Also Sedgie, I can't be fcuked hiking over to yer site now so I'll say here, great tip about The Convent in Daylesford. The Penthouse looks like just the spot for a transcendentally carnal weekend.
Posted by Nabakov at July 16, 2004 03:04 AM

Well, I've just had a dentally carnal Thursday, having spent all of Wednesday at 'Madame Lash's House of Oral Pain'. The screams could be heard from the moon.

"Root carnal, crown to come. That will be half your house and your first born child. Here's a complimentary tooth pick. Thank you sir. Have a nice day."
Posted by Sedgwick at July 16, 2004 10:41 AM

thanks Nick, sound advice
a quick roll of the eyes
has been my standard morning warm up for years.

rolling the eyes may help with flu
not sure how effective it is with dental stress
Posted by boynton at July 16, 2004 12:49 PM

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