east

the way eastlink shrinks your long-held sense of distance.

One minute you're driving along at Doncaster
you go through the tunnel and next thing you're at Cadbury Canterbury Road?

Not to mention what the roadscaping does to your until now reasonably stable mental map.
Who knew Ringwood would ever look this?





So anyway, suddenly being in Bayswater North, we thought we may as well go to Bunnings to source shower rails
Just before I entered the store I saw I was wearing Bunnings colours.
I don't normally dress like a Leprachaun, but there you go.
In that vast cold barn was I paranoid to think Security was tagging me, with my ploy to impersonate a shop assistant and snaffle screws under my crismon hoodie?
(At least I didn't get asked about stationery lines as I did once when I accidentally wore Royal blue into Officeworks.)
 

a point

At quarter time yesterday I took the dogs for a walk and saw a total of one person and zero canines out and about in glorious spring weather. Parrots held court in the trees as Eagles fans squawked and Swans supporters swore. I caught about 10 minutes of the entire game, as my sister, clad in the red and white, would not allow more than one-minute bursts of television, (between spells and rituals to will on the team) and we had a jetlagged Norabone just home to catch up with, who said it all felt like a dream, the football.
My sister and I hovered on the verandah desperately as the final siren was called by the enemy tribe across the street and we set about knocking off the cockatoo ridge fizz in defeat but not disagrace.
(well I had told various footyheads beforehand that we would lose a close one, so I had the half empty consolation of the pessimist's score, but then earlier when I walking alone in perfect still sunshine, football was put in perspective.)

mars

so boynton and a couple of friends went to Victoria Gardens and took the lift that said: Mars (actually claustrophobic boynton took the stairway to mars) and dodging puddles in the bleak rooftop carpark joined the small crowd gathered around the various clumps of telescopes owned by volunteers who tweaked the settings graciously for each beanie clad punter who wanted to see better. It was a rather miserable affair on such a night - the various volunteers seeking the sustenance of polystyrene hot drinks at their lonely stations. It's been a long three days confessed one young telescope-owner. Friday was the best night.
The biggest queue was for the biggest looking telescope, but boynton sampled a few of the lesser lenses and Mars always looked pretty much the same - a little white moving dot, like spilt liquid, even you might say, a tear drop. It seemed a little odd to take the disembodied view - to peer down into technology, away from the sky. To take the telescope's word for it as you took your bearings again by looking up and seeing that bright yellowish star within the clouds. The view of the city lights to the west, through the naked eye, looked pretty good too. For Earth.

Millions watch Mars... The Age

boynton's first visit to Victoria Gardens

loon

walking rogue dog up street, she has almost completed a perfect round of pretending to be canine companion - (as complex as dressage for such a dog) -when she suddenly enters that wolf zone and starts stalking something in the distance, oblivious to all the usual suspects, totally focused on this herd-able object loose on the footpath. Unlike other dogs she shows no embarrassment when she encounters the truth. At least the illusion did not burst but floated happily away, gloating.

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Comments: loon

argh! the truth has slipped from our grasp (aka that link appears to be broken). any more clues?
Posted by Gianna at August 27, 2003 01:33 PM

Oh no!!
That link was fine all day yesterday then, bang - the balloon bursts!
That link was actually a picture of a balloon dog - which was a bit of poetic license on my part, Gianna, as I'm not sure if Flo was seeing canine or feline or even bovine (folk-memory) or plain bird in the small balloon bouncing happily along up the street.
Thanks for the alert. I may have to substitute -
fix the link, but break this thread - eh!
Posted by boynton at August 27, 2003 01:45 PM

Fixed.
alas the purple jpg not quite as good as the earlier green model.
Posted by boynton at August 27, 2003 02:03 PM

ah!
Posted by Gianna at August 28, 2003 12:23 PM

10 things

ten things boynton has learnt this week:

Delphinidae are dolphins and not flowers

of course it was Socrates

a given date

St Kilda football club was formed in 1873

5 odd heads in a trivia team are better than two

Geraldton is windy

application is the word

Mars will next week pass closer to Earth than at any time in the past 57,000 years and one of the world's best viewing point is in the Australian bush.

The way it may end

X is expecting

(for kaliedoscope)

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Comments: 10 things

Geraldton's windy alright! I've got a friend who went windsurfing there in 1987 and got blown out to sea and had to spend about five hours paddling back with the sail furled. He was buggered when he got in. Ha Ha. Did I laugh! I still do.
Posted by Pithy at August 22, 2003 01:33 PM

Maybe he was aiming for Heard Island
Posted by boynton at August 22, 2003 01:43 PM

warped

yesterday boynton confirmed her theory about this suburb being a little warped
(temporally). The cream brick in weak blue winter sunshine , the empty streets with slow moving traffic, the man at the bus stop who chatted in an old dialect before chirping: here it is- right on time, as the bus pulled up, and nodded farewell before alighting. A sort of time travel. As she descended down the boulevard, the city suddenly rose like a panoramic postcard, and over the bridge it was straight back into full on grunge, with cartoon factory roofs, bits of public domestic and raging roads. Even though she misses the street fest, she's developing a bit of a taste for backwater - where the op shop women mutter low: I always keep an eye on any penguins coming in...as long as the wild nostalgia is never noted on sales boards.

worst case

don't know if we'll be game to switch on the PC tomorrow, and may instead have a mini-hiatus while the worm does its worst. So just in case, boynton's probably over-blogging today.
The worst case scenario site (via J walk) is a scary site for neurotics. All these new cases to prepare for.
Boynton once flicked through the print version of Dating and Sex Survival (see the Scenario Archives) at the local op shop referred to yesterday. She had a read before placing it back on the table where it was swooped upon and snapped up by a man who dispatched it forthwith to the sales counter. (Maybe he was an axe-murderer.) It is amusing to read the strategies for How to Escape from a Bad Date Boynton is always looking for escape routes under any circumstances, but would be reluctant to go for the "fake an emergency" plan. Too schooled in impro, where big is often best, the credibilty of her heightened scenario might be strained. Better to go for the challenging change of appearance strategy.
(Maybe the knitted vending machine (via Gianna) would be useful in these circumstances, to blend into the background.)

locale

perfect winter's day here in x.
boynton read the on-line headline: Europe swelters - after we melburnians had endured a very chilly August night.
"There's snow!", she had said to a friend as they ventured out to polar Coles, a speech bubble of condensation.
"Where?"
"Somewhere" she replied confidently " there's bound to be snow somewhere."
Earlier she had caught the perfect crisp half hour on sunset on foot, walking one-on-one with the problem dog. It was along a road she hadn't ever walked, and she was thinking of the book Outside Lies Magic, (recommended by Pica in a comment at Fragments-from Floyd.)

It is true, walking pace allows closer vision of the familiar everyday landscape that gets condensed by car travel, where houses are rolling data along the road. On foot each fence that usually flashes by is distinctive. But the zoom-in also allows a zooming out. Boynton saw the kilometre-long strip of post-war houses collectively forming a sort of remnant suburb. A sub-suburb, a substation of lost suburbia. In the early 70's the Freeway sliced through the topography - and it is probably their close proximity that rendered them undesirable enough to survive the various booms and blitzes of dual occupancy and development. Their double-glazed, first-floor terraces overlook the freeway and were themselves overlooked. So it is a little pocket of cream brick featurism and bold fifties futurism and places that look like 60's beach-houses - with towels draped over the railings - fronting the sea of traffic. And Castlemaine slate and 60's style stone-work, and rockeries along concealed driveways into carports built for teenagers. And at one high point boynton saw the old pockets join up as the seam of freeway dipped below the sightlines - and the forties time-warped cypruses and white wooden seat of a chopped park seamlessly flowed into the golf courses with their own museum landscapes.
The air was so perfectly crisp after the showers had eased that boynton was almost struck by a perennial, a purple daisy in the rockery that is never picked out from behind a windscreen at 50 kph. The groundcover was so generous, boynton was tempted to take one home - according to this its essence is Light Heartedness - joy and laughter. Or alternatively according to this - Allows one to accept compliments about physical appearance. Of course the two are complementary - such compliments can only be accepted with laughter. So boynton had better pinch one next time she walks by.

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Comments: locale

Far Too Hot.

Today England had its hottest day ever.

I'm not impressed.

Wish it were Autumn.
Posted by joh at August 11, 2003 02:14 AM

I just heard about that - near 40? That just seems too strange.
We scored 44.something last January but IMHO once it hits 40, any extra degrees become theoretical. You just stay inside and wait for Autumn.
Btw - country Victoria recorded temperatures of -5
the other night. That's cold.
Posted by boynton at August 11, 2003 11:40 AM

I dream of -5.

I fondly remember one summer in Norway where it generally reached -5 at night...

Preferred that to this 38C weather.

It would not be so bad if the British believed in Air Conditioning. (Unfortunately, it is still a novelty, and is not found in our homes, public transport or cars, and is only found in *very* modern offices.)

I'm a spring / autumn person myself. 10-14C and I can wander around (bare-armed) exclaiming about how lovely and warm it is...

Hope you get snow. Snow is great!
Posted by joh at August 11, 2003 11:00 PM

I'm a spring/autumn person too, joh, but that =
18 - 27.8 ! 10 - 14 is Winter in Melbourne! (the other states sneer about it) and there is actually a lot of snow up at the resorts, but we haven't had our hour of snow in the metro area yet.
I sympathise though - I think it's relative. I was in England once when it was 28,and it seemed stifling! I hate the heat - and am quite enjoying this cold snap.
Posted by boynton at August 11, 2003 11:32 PM

speech

boynton found herself listening to a hospital hour on a community FM radio station. There was something nostalgic about the banter - a kind of low grade localese - that made it compelling. Between the Bing and choral singing in the style of Bing boynton noted the following banter.

- How many speech pathologists do you reckon we have?
- ooh - 20?
- 26.
- 26! I wasn't that far off. That's a broad spectrum.
- It's a big team.
- Do you know one in seven Australians have a communication problem?
yes and various swallowing issues... If you're on the outside and want to talk to a speech pathologist, I'll give you the number. They're a friendly mob.
- 26 staff!

- Looking at the redevelopment earlier - the wind - there wasn't all that much going on - with all the wind -
- The site itself is just rocketting ahead. The carpark is well and truly there.
- Looks like a great big meccano set.
- Everyone's certainly excited by the look.
- All the mental health work is on top of the site up near the laundry
- Exciting times.

The Sponsored Silence - one of the activities of National Speech Pathology Week
Speech pathologists are encouraged to remain silent for a period of time and they are sponsored for their efforts...

aout

ah - August - usually nicknamed aout by boynton because it's the month when Melbourne gets pretty bleak. But there's nothing of the aout out there today - with its blue sky and weak sunshine, and next door's magnolia looks rather magnificent through the framework of a hills hoist - and there are indeed magpies singing to boot. According to my mother this week often turned on an aberation, a glitch of good weather - good weather for children's parties - good for my three july-born sibs as saturday hosts, of yore. Lucky Leo's law of the jungle.
Of course at first the day did not augur quite so well when Flo ate a bit of old Abby's ear in an early morning post-prandial stoush. A fair bit of aout about then.

(The maggies wav was found with the very useful Findsounds via J walk)

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Comments: aout

Ah birthday season.
Grumpygirl's father's birthday is tomorrow, Petite's is on Wed and Thieu's is on Thursday.

A busy -- and costly--- beginning to the month.

August is better than July, I think. Slightly longer days, the last month of winter.
Posted by mcb at August 1, 2003 04:50 PM

it was always July and September in my family for birthdays mcb - and with a 2nd generation - September is crowded out. Every day a birthday, almost,like a collapsible christmas. I don't mind because at least in September there is one small day of compensation for boynton ;)

and it's hard to carp on such a nice day - but I just always think of those ghastly/august days of bitter wind and rain and what-is-sun-again? ahead.
Posted by boynton at August 1, 2003 04:59 PM

Must be August, Boynton. I got swooped by a magpie this morning. It nonchalantly landed and then glared balefully. Love 'em.
Posted by Nora at August 1, 2003 11:17 PM

How is the bleakness of Melbourne in August any different to the bleakness of May, June, or July?
Posted by Scott Wickstein at August 2, 2003 12:38 AM

Eh!...there's only been a FEW DAYS of bleakness to date - and this was earlier in the week, when we were sent some squalls from South Australia.
And anyway - cold weather is good for the brain.
Posted by boynton at August 2, 2003 01:02 AM

When I lived in Melbourne, the bleakness started in April and didn't lift until.. errr December 2001. I left in January 2002.

Maybe it's just me. I grew up on the fringe of the desert.
Posted by Scott Wickstein at August 2, 2003 04:47 AM

August - usually nicknamed aout by boynton because it's the month when Melbourne gets pretty bleak

Not because aout is French for August? :)
Posted by James Russell at August 2, 2003 02:48 PM

ooh ee - oui
that was the origin - I must confess it does look rather oblique without the circumflex.
You may have gathered by now, James, that I only speak schoolgirl French - and the way I pronounce August in French roughly equates with the bleakness of august ;)
Posted by boynton at August 2, 2003 02:56 PM

worry

Boynton has spent a considerable amount of her time this week, as with all weeks, worrying. Having found out who made the mystery phone call (that she accidentally wiped from her machine) again she has to conclude that such behaviour is probably useless. All things considered. (But that’s if she did consider all things.)
Likewise, the anti-worrying aphorisms provided by sites such as these mostly don't work
Many of the fearful possibilities do not exist outside of our fertile imaginations
Alas, it's that very same small window of existence that keeps us going.

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Comments: worry

Damn, I guess not.

Just knowing that "Worry can affect your skin (rash or itch). It can impact your respiratory system and aggravating asthma. Growing evidence even suggests that chronic worry can compromise your immune system, making you more vulnerable to bacteria, viruses, perhaps even cancer." makes me worry about worrying.

Sounds like another Catch-22 to me.
Posted by Loren at July 28, 2003 04:05 PM

Can I catch that condition, Loren?
Yes, medical possibilities are always the worst of imaginative scenarios.
I found some more random fortune-cookie "comfort sayings" at the Worry Bank:
http://www.worrybank.com/comfortsayings.html
but again, they didn't quite wash:
"Things usually seem worse than they really are."
"Cheer up. Things can always be worse. "
Sure about that?...
(and sorry to all for not yet enabling the dreaded html here. Just summoning the nerve)
Posted by boynton at July 28, 2003 04:21 PM

Boynton, sometimes your life reads like a Thomas Hardy novel - but if you were a character in one of his tales no-one would believe it!!
Posted by Nora at July 28, 2003 04:59 PM

I know - this last incident was "so" late Hardy that even he wouldn't believe it. I almost don't myself.
Some days just lack cred for me, they're so absurd.
Posted by boynton at July 28, 2003 05:35 PM

shadowy

Yesterday boynton managed to wipe some remote phone messages without first hearing them. Could have remotely been Mr Right. Today she answers the phone and someone asks for Ginger Fatso and this is not a joke but a wrong number and the caller is apologetic, and worse - so is boynton.

Wish she lived near here so she could take on that Inner Critic with a quick bit of Pathwork with Dottie. If this seems more oblique than usual, this particular shadowy allusion is all part of an online project she has decided to take part in, despite a fear of the dotted line and an inability to follow instructions carefully. (via bluejoh)

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Comments: shadowy

Saw your dotty pathwork link, but what the heck is 'rolfing'? "The instructor will also demonstrate Rolfing on a participant." Is THAT what they call it now?
Posted by Nora at July 22, 2003 10:46 PM

tie me kangaroo down, sport
Posted by boynton at July 22, 2003 10:57 PM

i did some of the shadowly alluded to tasks only to discover that share a name with a fascist political candidate, i'm going to get such grief when next arrested. ho hum
Posted by err can i keep it a secret at July 26, 2003 03:29 AM

that sounds just too intriguing to let sleep, err.
Posted by boynton at July 26, 2003 12:52 PM

teaspoon

boynton may indeed have reached the age - or at least the stage -when a weakness for sunsets starts to set in, but she has not quite yet got to the love of a good bit of teaspoon verse time in her life. That is she won't be inscribing her lofty thoughts onto the silverware just yet. Shortly after posting the sunset piece she looked across and there on the desk was a teaspoon that may as well be found - from whence it came she knows not - it may well have fallen from the sky. Closer inspection revealed a small lyric about the Australian sunrise. It might just have easily been another of James Cutherbertson's verses - Old Billy -
"...How often on the Friday night—
Your cubic measure testing—
With jam and tea we stuffed you tight
Before we started nesting"

Or even a line from Wattle and Myrtle
"Aye, and Her sweet breath lingers on the wattle..."

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Comments: teaspoon

Sunsets Boynty? Didn't know you were such a fan.
Posted by Tony.T at July 13, 2003 09:40 PM

If that's "tea breath" lingering on the wattle it sure isn't sweet. Its lingering stench for some reason goes hand in hand with stumpy teeth. I don't know why, but in my mind I always link the two.
Posted by Nora at July 13, 2003 11:59 PM

Nora, you should fashion that memory into a terse verse and inscribe a souvenir teaspoon. You could then whip up an appropriate graphic to enamel.

I think I read recently that Tea is actually supposed to be Good for breath. Guess it depends on what blend you use?
Posted by boynton at July 14, 2003 12:09 AM